Revive [Harry Styles]

Chapter Thirty-Three

"I can explain!" Harry shouts at me while I walk to the kitchen. I have a strong earge to throw up.

"Explain what theirs nothing to explain Harry" my knuckles turn white as I tighten my grip on the edge of the counter. "Just leave it's late and I'm tired"

"Tired of what, what'd you do today?" My anger rises with ever word that slips out of his mouth.

"I don't owe you an explanation of what I did or didn't do today. You stood me up I waited for two hours. I thought you said you'd be back in ten minutes." I finally look up at him and see guilt written all over his face.

"I.. I" Harry scratches the side of his neck looking down. Avoiding my eye contact and that's.. that's when I know it's bad.

"Just please leave. You can't even give me a straight answer." I tell him as calm as I can. While in the back of my mind I know I'll be crying myself to sleep again.

"I was with another girl" he blurts out. My eyes go wide for a second but then I shut them tightly. I mean another girl what did I think he was reading books of course he was with another girl. Every other girls is better than me.

"Please leave." I whisper to him. Swallowing the lump forming in my throat.

"Just let me explain please" I don't have to look at him to know he has pleading eyes. So I stay silent not saying one word just waiting to see what he does next. "She's my ex we.. I messed up and I don't want you to be mad because damn I like you to much I think about you every second of the day-"

"Well you obviously weren't thinking about me when you were with that other girl" I point out the obvious sinking down on the floor. Harry sits right in front of me and I can't look at him if my life depended on it.

"I know and it was so stupid of me. But when I got home I did shower I got ready to go out to eat with you but right when I stepped outside she was already waiting for me. I tried telling her I had other plans but she went on and on how we haven't seen each other.. The thing is we never put a label on it she was just their. After the whole thing with my sister happend I kind of lost myself. I didn't feel nothing. She just made herself my girlfriend." I let out a giggle that soon turns into laughing out loud. I think I'm losing my mind.

"You don't owe me an explanation either. You wanna know why because we aren't together I mean nothing to you. Just the same way you mean nothing to me" the words taste like vinegar leaving my mouth. I want to so desperately take it back. Shove every word down my throat but I can't. At first it's silent no other words are spoke. But then he speaks up.

"She came all the way from London to visit me. She forced me to stay started crying hysterical and yelling at me how I never cared about her minutes turned to hours and I still couldn't shake her. I planned on making her fall asleep so I could leave to see you. But at then end I didn't care about her. I realized why am I trying so hard to please her when I should be pleasing you. So I brushed her off and left. And here I am." His words hit me like a bulldozer. "And I do owe you an explanation because I like you a lot.. I don't even know if like is the right word anymore." He whispers the last part to himself but I heard.

"I think you should go" I avoid looking at him. Keeping me composer.

"I'll leave but not because you asked me too I'm leaving because I took my mom's car and I know she'll kill me in the morning" he waits still sitting there waiting for me to say something to tell him something but I can't and I won't.

"I'm sorry for not coming. My phone died just please Jess talk to me tell me something" he leans against the counter. I continue to be silent. I can't bare to talk or else I'll say something I'll regret. "I just need you to say something anything" his voice is pleading.

"I-I think you should go" I tell him quietly pushing the tears back. I'm holding my breath not wanting to make any sound. Like at any second the world is just going to open up right now and swallow me whole. I want to disappear I want to be invisible like how I was before he got here.

"You're not invisible and if you were you aren't now because I can see you and you are the most beautifulest human being I've ever seen" his words take me by surprise. Thinking he read my thoughts but I'm shook with the fact that I said that out loud.

Everything in my inner being is yelling to wrap my arms around his neck and hold him with all my might. But I don't I stay still wishing this day would end. And this is why my heart is sheltered this is why I hold my wall up so high. I look down at my hands and toy with my fingers. Pulling at the ends to make a crack sound.

"I've only known you for maybe 3 months or something but I want you to be mine I want to call you mine I want to kiss you all the time I want to hold you tight in my arms and I want you to be my girlfriend Jess" his words come out fast in a quick blur almost like a windy day taking the leafs as fast as it can.

Harrys POV

The way she's just pushing me away is killing me I don't know how much more I can take of this. But then I look down at the broken girl holding her hands and pulling. I look at the way her hair falls on her face and the way she looks so small so fragile. It's my fault it's my fault she's pushing me away. Stupid Jane crying like there's no tomorrow like someone just killed her mum. Holding on to me. I kept trying to shake her but she won't let go. I tried playing nice I tried calming her down. But I screwed myself over. I messed up everything with this perfect girl who sits in front of me. So just say it. Do it Harry. Say it. Say what you've been thinking of this whole time.

"I've only known you for maybe 3 months or something but I want you to be mine I want to call you mine I want to kiss you all the time I want to hold you tight in my arms and I want you to be my girlfriend Jess" the words fly out of my mouth before I can stop them. Whipping away with the air.

Her head snaps up to look at me. Those damn blue eyes I've fallen for look directly at me. Popping out of her eye socket. Her little nose that curves perfectly above her plump rosy lips. Her cheeks tinted pink. I want to kiss her right now I want to take her in my arms I want to call me mine and kiss her with everything I have. I want to show her how much she means to me that I'm not playing around that she actually means more to me than she'll ever know.

"Is this some kind of joke?" Her voice is silent hitting me in the chest hard.

"No it isn't" I shake my head feeling my heart drop and my lungs collapse.

"Harry you just left me you were with some other girl and you think asking me to be your girlfriend will fix everything" she takes a deep breath getting to her feet. She runs a hand threw her now messy curls. "I trusted you Harry I thought.. Nothing I knew you were gonna do this sooner or later I'm happy is was sooner before I got to attached to you. Like I said before I think you should go" she turns away from me running up the stairs and slamming her door.

I stand there for a little while still looking at the previous spot she was just in. She left and she just took my heart with her.