Revive [Harry Styles]

Chapter Eighteen

Another restless night. I can't get anywhere near comfortably. But whenever  I do I slowly shut my eyes to be greeted with a nightmare. It seems like I have more nightmares now that gramps is gone. Jolting up from my sleep to hold myself and cry silently. Gramps can no longer hold me. The thought of being alone is make me more scared.

*beep beep beep*

I almost fall off my bed at the loud alarm that scares the daylights out of me. I quickly shut it off. Huh I shouldn't of even put it on since I got no sleep at all. Hell I shouldn't even go to school but then how am I going to ignore the pain I feel in the pit of my stomach. My whole body is in pain.

I throw the covers off of me and stand up. But as soon as I stand I fall directly to the floor. The pain hurts more then I thought. I refuse to cry I refuse to be weak. Everything inside of me is yelling out for help, yelling out of pain, and most importantly yelling out to cry. I refuse to do any of those things.

Slowly but steadily I help myself up. Ignoring the pain I walk over to my closet I pull out a burgundy shirt with the logo of the Beatles, gramps loved this shirt. I get a pair of black skinny jeans that are ripped. And decide it will have to do. I took a shower last night so I don't take a shower in the moring.

I take of my pj's and put on the clothes I picked out. Then I open my door with my white convers in my hand. I jog down stairs and walk towards gramps room. Once I reach it I push open the door and put on a sad smile.

"Hey gramps I'm going to go to school soon but can I borrow a pair of your socks" I walk over to his draw and pull it open taking out a pair of black socks. I sit down on his bed and put the socks on. Stupid as it sounds I want some part of him with me even if it's just a pair of socks. "I'm not really looking forward to school I'm probably going to vomit as soon as I step inside" I smile thinking of him telling me 'to stop over reacting your just being silly.'

I stand up and blow a kiss to where gramps use to lay. "I love you Gramps I'll be home as soon as I can" I'm about to point to his night stand to remind him to take his pills but I stop myself. Feeling a pang to my chest I exit his room.

I walk to the fridge not feeling hungry but I need to eat so I pull out a strawberry yogurt. I force myself to finish the whole things. And once I know I'm done getting ready and have everything with me I leave the house I once called home.

________________

"Jesse!" I turn away from my locker to see an angry Harry stomp over to me. Peoples head snap towards where he's walking and I wish I could disappear right now. I turn away pretending I didn't hear him. Quickly taking out my books I need.

"Jesse I'm calling you" Harry looks furious and it's scaring me.

"Harry you're scaring me" I tell him in a little voice feeling as little as an ant. His face softens a little but I could feel the anger vibrate off of him.

"I'm sorry but you weren't answering your phone and I went to your house to pick you up but you weren't there I thought you ran away or something bad happend to you.. you scared the shit out of me" he huffs out an exaggerated amount of air.

"Sorry I walked to school and my phone is probably on silent" I reach down to my pocket and see I have 10 missed calls from Harry and 5 texts of him asking where I am. I give him an apologetic stare.

"Its okay just put your phone on vibrate next time you almost gave me a heart attack" he pinches his fingers together "I was this close to breaking down the door" at that very moment I smile a real small smile.

"Are you sure you didn't try?"

"I may or my not have kicked the door twice but nothing happend" I shake my head at his response. "Hey how are you doing?"