My Thoughts

Can i love you?

so i was sent this by one of my friends and i thought it deserved a little attention so here ya go
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do i love you?
do i know what love feels like?
do i remember it?
sure, i remember a version of love. i remember putting that person before me, even if it hurts me. i remember being so forgiving that i was tumbled over so many times before i broke away. i remember feeling trapped, chained up in a prison with nothing to help me out. i remember crying to myself at night thinking i wasn't enough, that i wasn't good enough to be loved like i deserve to be loved. like i loved that person.
do i truly know what love feels like? do i know what that pull is? to love someone unconditionally?
do i love you?
that's the question. that's the heart-tugging, mind-consuming, head-raging question.
but there's another. one more important one that i don't know the answer to.
can i?
can i love you? after everything that's happened? after the hurt, pain, misery, heartache i've been through, can i pull myself together enough to trust you and fall into your mercy? to become involved with something so.... intimate, so heart filling?
can i love you?
do i have the ability to fall?
that's the question.
will i ever know the answer?
i don't know, but i want to find out.
i want to promise you that whatever i'm feeling, however my heart is aching at the time, i'll tell you.
if i'm happy, i'll tell you. if i'm sad, i'll tell you. if my mind is telling me i'm worthless and my heart is telling me to not give in. if my legs are saying don't get up and my eyes are yelling don't open us, i'll tell you.
i'll tell you everything. everything about me.
as long as you promise to treasure that knowledge. to never let it slip away, always hold it close to you. because that trust, that bond, has to be kept, or my heart won't recover.