My Thoughts

Little bit of Me

So, for a very, very long time, i've struggled with faith. I've struggled with figuring out if god is there, and if he is, if he's listening to anyone. I've struggled with everything that's put in front of me. For years and years i cried and asked him if he was there, if he could send me something to show he's there. but of course, there was no answer.
1 year ago, I lost all my faith in god. I stopped wondering if he was there because i believed he wasn't. I believed that everything around us wasn't a creation from god. It was just..... science. My life changed so drastically. And I didn't really care, cause what did it matter? I've struggled with so much. Depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, some i still struggle with. And it didn't matter cause there was no one who cared how I was feeling. No one who would reach toward me and say "I can take your pain away. Walk with me, and I will help you." I was alone in the world.
And then, I began this wondering again. Is there something there, watching over everything? Watching the misery that is humanity?