My Thoughts

No title

There are so many things going on in my head, but at the same time, nothing.
My head is empty but my heart is heavy.
I'm alone thinking to myself what did I do to deserve how I feel? I don't know. I don't know why I feel like this.
I've been hurt. I've been in pain. I've felt every bad emotion. I've been through enough shit to last a lifetime. But for some reason. For some goddamn I know reason, I'm going through more. Why can't I just be happy?
Have you ever felt like such a shitty person you don't want to live? Have you ever felt like life would be so much easier if you were just dead? Have you ever felt worthless?
I know it's temporary. I know it's just because of the random shit that happens. But I don't get hurt and brush it off. It builds up gradually and one thing happens and I feel like my world is collapsing. One thing happens, even if it doesn't effect me, and I break down, I cry to the point where I heave and can't breath and almost throw up. I take everything so personally and I don't know why but I can't stop.
Is there anyone out there who can help me?
Who can help me through the pain?
Is there anyone out there who will take care of me and not expect anything in return?
I hope.
I can't go through this life anyone. I won't survive much longer.
I don't know if I'll even survive tomorrow.