My Thoughts

To you

I wish I could find the strength to tell you this. I wish I could find a way to walk up to you and tell you I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to hurt. I don't want to think. I honestly don't even want to breath. Thinking about how much I loved you and how much I trusted you makes my heart feel like it's being ripped out of my chest. Knowing that I was so foolish to let someone in, to trust that you wouldn't do anything to hurt me because you knew what I've been through, to love you and trust that you loved me back, it twists my stomach and shatters all of my body. I wish I didn't love you. You're probably not reading this, you're probably off doing god knows what with god knows who, but I hope you know these tears are because of you. This feeling is because of you. The thoughts running through my head are because of you. I don't want to live anymore. I don't want to breath. It's too much. I hate myself. And god, I wish I could turn it off. I wish my brain would shut down. I wish. I wish I wish I god damn wish. But it hurts too much. I don't want to do this anymore.