Opposite attracts - Lashton | COMPLETED

Chapter twenty-one: Luke

  I ignore why but I find myself enjoying boys a little too much. Scratch that. Not boys. Mainly- only Ashton. What is wrong with me? I've always been attracted to girls - I've even had sex with them too many time to count on my fingers. Feeling their curvy body under my palms and pounding into them restlessly is something I've been loving since a long time.

Why am I suddenly attracted to him? 

I've never looked at boys this way and never doubt my sexuality. Not once. I always knew I was into girls. When I was younger, I used to steal some pornographic magazines from the small shop down the road to cut some photos and glue them into my agenda. I kept my favourite hidden under my bed so my parents would never find out. Did I mention I was only nine at the time? 

Having a girlfriend has never been something I would think about. But again, I don't do relationships. I never did. I much prefer sleeping around. I like changes and get bored easily so I wouldn't be able to have a constant partner. Do I need to mention that relationships bring a shit-loads of complications and conflicts. Most of the time the girl needs all her boyfriend's attention and when he look at someone else or even just hang out with his friends she gets mad and starts arguing about how selfish he's being and that he should spend more time with her. 

Girls also like going on dates - which can be transformed into double dates with their friends - and I hate that. I'm not a romantic guy and I don't plan changing. I'm not the type of guy that will buy you flowers or take you out to a fancy dinner. I'm more the type to go to a concert and drink beers. 

On the other side, I don't think I'm into boys either. Am I? I mean, I've never tried to look at my classmates after gym class in the changing rooms. Nor staring attentively at their dicks in the showers. I've slept in the same bed as Michael and Calum a huge amount of times and never felt anything. Touching a dick - other than mine - has never crossed my mind - except in a joking way. 

All the times Ashton and I kissed, I felt something inside. When our lips touched, I always wanted more, more, more. The feeling of his hands on me, the way the shyly moved on my sides and how he pull at my hair, it drives me crazy.

I pulled at the roots of my hair in frustration. Ugh, why is this so hard?

''What are you doing?'' asked a familiar voice, pulling me out of my thoughts. 

I turned to face him. ''Just thinking,'' I smiled.

''Care to share you thoughts? Or is it too personal?'' 

I raised my  shoulder, not knowing what to say. Should I tell him what's haunting me lately? I have never been someone who confess their problems or thoughts to people. Not even my parents or best friends. I've always been closed to people. I always told myself if I kept everything to myself, I could never end up getting hurt. That no one could affect me since they'd know nothing about me that they could blackmail me with. 

''I'm just confused, I guess,'' I started, picking at strands of the rip in my jeans. 

''Maybe I could help you.'' 

''I doubt you can, Ashton.'' 

He send me an apologetic look and I went back to stare at the window. I like looking at the raindrops falling outside. It has a calming effect on me. It also helps me think and sort things out. 

''Ashton?'' I called in the empty house. I got no response so I climbed upstairs. Maybe he's in his room, I remember him telling me he had a test tomorrow. He must be studying. I walked down the hallway and stopped in front of his bedroom. I knocked once. I frowned when no one talked and decided to push open the door. He was sitting on his bed, earphone on top of  his head with a couple books and notebooks in front of him.