Emotions // Billie Eilish - (on hold)

Chapter Forty-Two

BILLIES POV

I ran threw the corridor ambushed by security as my mum talked to the police on the phone. I knew Adam was out of jail as he was bailed out by a "friend" but I never thought he'd try to bother us again.

My phone rang and I quickly answered it. It was lily.

Before I could say much my line went dead.

"Lily? Lily? Babe?? Can you hear me?? Fuck!!" I yelled as I hung up. I tried to call her back but it went straight to voicemail.

I didn't know what the plan was I was just fast walking / running behind the security guards.

"Ok here's the deal listen closely because we need to be fast. When that door up there opens you need to run and jump into the black Range Rover that'll be parked outside. do NOT hesitate just get in, he will speed off as soon as the door shuts so he ready." I nodded my head.

My mum gripped my hand to make sure we didn't get separated and as the door open we ran.

I threw myself inside the car hardly taking a chance to look around however what I did see was fire and screaming people. This was a mess. My mum quickly jumped In after me and the car sped off towards our hotel.

-

LILYS POV.

I heard a key card in the door but I didn't move I assumed it would be the hotel staff and I was not in the mood to be talked to right now.

A hand touched my knee and I flinched, the contact caused shock to race threw my blood stream.

"You ok?" A voice asked and my brain clicked.

"Billie?" I said looking up.

"Holy shit. I thought you died." I said tears streaming down my face as I wrapped my arms around her neck, launching her backwards into the ground.

"Are you ok? What the fuck is going on?" I cried into her shoulder.

"I'm fine and I don't know baby." She stroked my hair whilst holding me on top of her with her free hand

We were told over the phone to stay in the hotel room so looked like the four of us where stuck here for a while

It was an hour of me and billie sitting on the floor in each other's arms silently crying before we got told it was over and we could go back to our normal rooms. Maggie and fin left leaving billie and I alone for the first time since the chaos started.

"Billie What happened." I said confused, slowly standing up off the floor billie followed me to the bed taking a seat next to me.

"Adam showed up in the crowd I don't know what he did but he set off a bomb. That's all I know. The police will inform us when they've done their job."

"Oh." Was all I could say my breath hitched in my throat. Adam tried to kill me. God knows how many innocent people got hurt in the bomb.

Billie must have noticed the change in my breathing as she placed her arm on my back and rubbed gentle circles.

"I'm going to take a bath." I said as I breathed out again.

Except when I got to the bathroom I turned around a locked the door. I ran the water to make some noise but I didn't get in. I went the the medicine bag I took with me whenever I traveled and pulled out my trusty razor. I sliced several cuts across my ankle, ribs and even my neck.

Glancing at myself in the mirror as the blood poured down my neck onto my boobs onto my ribs and down my legs.

"Your a fuck up." I growled at the reflection. "It's your fault everything goes wrong. Your just a fat ugly useless cunt!!" I cried.

-

BILLIES POV.

It had been 15 minutes, Lily was in the bath she usually spent about an hour in the bath. But something felt off. I paused the tv and realised I could hear yelling. I quickly got up off the bed and headed to the door. Locked.

I knocked a few times but she ignored me.

"Maybe if you weren't so fat everyone would stop trying to kill you! Just Kill your self lily before someone gets seriously hurt!" I heard her yell.

"Baby let me in!" I yelled back. No reply.

I heard sobbing. And began to shake the door hoping it may just open.

"Lily please let me in!" I was now panicking. I should have know the events of today would be too much for her, that she would blame herself.

"Baby please just talk to me! Please babygirl open up the door!" I was now sobbing. I kicked the hotel door, not caring if it broke. 3 hard strikes to the lock.

"You don't have to do this! Please let me in!" I yelled

After a few more kicks it flew open. I looked around noticing lily lent against the wall by the bathtub crying into her knees she was covered in blood. I quickly grabbed a towel off the handrail and soaked it in water before crouching in-front of my sobbing girlfriend I wiped away at the blood, the cuts weren't bad there was just many of them.

The blood quickly replaced what I wiped away so I held it to her neck and also her ribs as she tried to struggle away.

"Let me bleed to death." She cried.

Once the bleeding finally stopped she had given up her fight and was just sobbing.

"I've had enough Billie. I want to die. I want to be at peace. I'm sick of being fat and ugly. I'm sick of being a problem, I don't want to exist anymore." She sobbed.

"No baby your not dying today you've got to stay, stay with me." I hugged her and spoke soothing words till she calmed slightly. I then scooped her up in my arms and carried her to the bed. I tucked her in under the covers and pulled her closer to me. She accepted and snuggled as close as she could into my chest and I just held her, it was like holding a carefully put together puzzle, if I move it slightly it will crumble into a mess.