Emotions // Billie Eilish - (on hold)

Chapter Sixty-One

I smiled as I woke up feeling billies arms around me like a protective cage. When I glanced up at her she was fast asleep. I looked around the room. Most people where now in the kitchen it was a lot less busier then earlier and people where much drunker. On the other sofa laid finneas and his girlfriend also asleep.

I crept up off the sofa making sure to tuck the blanket back over Billie so she wouldn't get cold.

I left the living room taking a peak in the kitchen there was still about 20 people here. The time on the oven read 11:50pm they'd most likely be here for another few hours.

I went up stairs entering mine and billies room, stripping off my clothes from earlier and changing into some sweat pants and a lose fitted top, throwing my hair up in a messy bun.

I was about to leave the bedroom when I stopped in front of the full length mirror. I lifted my shirt and noticed my stomach nearly straight away. My eyes then drifted to my arms and legs. Too fat I though as I Pinched the skin leaving red marks all over me.

If I can pinch it I can lose it.

I didn't have the energy to work out now but tomorrow I would figure something out.

By the time I actually left the bedroom I was covered in red marks.

-

BILLIES POV

When I woke I quickly noticed lily wasn't next to me. Assuming she'd just gone to the bathroom I scrolled threw Instagram seeing what I'd been tagged in. There was lots of fan art and people saying they where excited for tour.

After a while lily appeared. I noticed straight away not only had she changed her clothes but her body was covered in bright red pinch marks. I tried not to stare not wanting her to feel uncomfortable but I was concerned.

She sat down on the edge of the sofa next to me giving me her best fake smile but I didn't believe it.

Wrapping my arms around her in one quick movement I had her laying on top of me so are stomachs where touching.

"I'm going to crush you" She said, seeming genuinely concerned even though we weighed next to nothing.

"No you won't, besides I wouldn't mind anyway." I said kissing her nose.

I stroked my finger tips over a pinch mark on her arm. When she noticed that's what I was doing she quickly pulled her arm away.

"Are you ok?" I asked, Trying to hold eye contact with her as she tried her best to avoid me.

"Of course." She said with a fake smile jumping off me and standing awkwardly at the side of the sofa.

Eventually we went to bed, leaving people to leave at their own pace. Sadly it wasn't long till i was awoken.

"Because you cheated you asshole!!" I heard someone yell followed by a shattering glass.

Great, drunk arguing. I glanced at my phone 1am.

I didn't like the arguing as it reminded me of the day my dad was taken from us but at the same time I was more concerned about lily.

Suddenly a door slamming and someone screaming in pain caused her to bolt awake.

She looked around it panic and I quickly sat up next to her.

"It's ok.. it's just people fighting downstairs." I said wrapping my arms around her but the panic attack had already began.

I laid back down on the bed taking her with me as I hugged her tightly trying my best to calm her down.

Her cheeks where soaking wet and she was hardly breathing.

I stroked Lilys hair as she flinched at every word yelled, she clinged to me for life. doing my best to focus on her instead of letting myself get worried.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door and I noticed lily was visibly shaking from fear.

"Yeah?" I yelled trying not to be so loud.

The door open and finneas walked in, closing the door behind him he took a seat at my desk.

"You guys good?" He asked, I could tell from his face he knew the answer was no but I nodded anyway.

As finneas spoke lily simply cried harder, I wondered what sort of images where going threw her head.

"Lily look at me..." I asked guiding her chin upwards.

"It's just me you and fin here... we won't hurt you. I know your scared Babygirl but your gonna be ok." I continued she didn't reply she simply just buried her head back in my shirt.

"We're trying to get them to leave but there drunk so.." finneas explained

"What the heck even happened?"

"Not sure I was asleep when it all started."

Suddenly a door slamming causing the walls to shake made us all jump.

Finneas quickly got up peering out the window.

"There leaving.." He said as he watched them. I could still here them fighting as they got into a car. As a car door slammed and the engine started the yelling finally stopped.

"There gone." He said

"Finally..."

"If you need anything let me know." He said as he walked to the door

"Thanks Fin." I smiled as he left.

"Baby it's over. There gone." I said kissing her forehead. I knew full well it would take an hour or so for her to calm down.

"Sorry." She muttered, still crying as she clinged onto me.

"Babe you have nothing to be sorry about, if I'd been threw your shit I'd react the same. I'm here for you, you know that." I said stroking her hair. The fact she felt guilty for being scared of yelling made me feel sick.

"I love you beautiful." I reminded her. Kissing her forehead. She smiled up at me threw teary eyes waiting for me to kiss her lips so I did.

I wiped her tears as she slowly calmed down putting on a film hoping she'd fall asleep.