Emotions // Billie Eilish - (on hold)

Chapter Forty-Seven

Billie was currently preforming six feet under. Her 6th song of the night
"Retrace my lips
Erase your touch
It's all too much for me
Blow away
Like smoke in air
How can you die carelessly?"

I smiled as she poured her heart into the song

"They're playing our sound
Laying us down tonight
And all of these clouds
Crying us back to life
But you're cold as a kni-" her voice cracked as she turned away from the crowd I watched as she wiped away tears. The crowd was screaming aww at her as if it was cute she was upset.

Without even thinking I ran out the wings onto the stage. I crouched down in-front of her placing my hands on her legs causing her to look at me. She stood up and I copied as she wrapped her arms around me and cried into my shoulder.

"take a break billie." I begged.

"No I need to finish the song." She said sitting back down on the stool.

"Babe take a break, look at you. You need a break!" I nearly yelled.

"Six feet under
I can't help but wonder
If our grave was watered by the rain
Bloom
Bloom
Again" she sang as the music started back up. I gripped onto her shoulder as she sang threw the tears.

The song finished and she turned back to me.

"Please.." I begged. Billie never cried so for her to be upset something was wrong.

She turned back to the crowds

"Ok guys we're gonna take a 30 minute break go get yourself some food and I'll be back!" She said before taking my hand and walking back to the green room.

People hurried to her side to ask what was going on and I was quickly pushed out by the crowd. I went to sit on the sofa to give her some space but as I watched she snapped at everyone and tried to push them away.

"I just need some space!!" She yelled, I could hear she was holding back fresh tears.

She came storming towards me and for a second I was afraid until she wrapped her arms around me, I closed my eyes taking a deep breath.

She pulled us down onto the sofa so I was laying on my back and she was laying slightly on top of me.

"What's wrong?" I asked

"I just.. I don't know I just need you."

"I'm right here." I said wiping away the fresh tears as she wrapped her arms around me. Truth was I knew exactly what was wrong with her. She needed a break. A proper one. She had toured for the last 3 months and they had many planned for her, it was slowly breaking her.

We laid in silence for the full 30 minute break occasionally I would stroke billies hair and she would kiss my cheek but other then that we where perfectly still.

"You sure you want to do this?" I said as she stood by the wings about to go back out

"I have 4 more songs I'll be ok." She said but she didn't sound convinced

-
By the end of the show Billie walked off the stage like she was dead on her feet, her face was blank and her eyes where emotionless.

She didn't say a word to me until we got back to the hotel room. She practically threw herself into the bed covering herself with the sheets.
I sat down on the edge of the bed next to her as she wrapped her arms around me.

"Are you ok?" I asked

"I'm just drained I'll be ok in the morning, cuddle me." She said As she dragged me under the covers next to her.

Within seconds she was asleep. I slowly crept out of the bed and into the bathroom starring at myself in the mirror making sure to point out every single flaw I had.

I sighed before exciting to go to bed.

-

The next morning I rolled over to see billie awake on her phone FaceTiming someone.

I leant onto her so I was leaning on her chest. She was talking to the bell twins.

"Morning beautiful." She smiled and I leant over to kiss her cheek, only for her to dodge me.

"Billie what the fuck?" I questioned

"What?" She raised an eye brow at me. I tried again to kiss her cheek only to get the same response.

"Billie stop, come here I want a kiss.." I frowned

"Not now, I'm busy." She said getting up and standing across the room as she continued speaking to the bell twins.

I followed her.

"What do you mean? You always want to kiss me."

I tried again, she pushed me away and walked off.

"Billie.. what.. I don't understand, did I do something wrong?"

"No I just don't feel like it right now."

"What did I do?"

"Nothing!"

I walked over to her and tried to hug her she pushed me away. I was hurt.

Your too fat now she hates you.

"Please just one kiss.." I begged my voice breaking

"No." She said as she continued to walk away from me.

I headed to the bed and bought my knees up to my face as I began to cry.

I shouldn't have eaten all that food.

-

BILLIES POV.

I was currently doing the dont kiss me prank on lily which the bell twins put me up too.

"No." I said as she walked closer to me to try and kiss me, god I wanted to kiss her so bad.

I watched from the corner of my eye acting as if I was paying attention as she headed to the bed it wasn't until I heard crying that I caved. I felt awful.

"Ok I quit I can't." I said to the bell twins on the phone who booed at me.

I ran to her side wrapped my arms around her

"Baby im Sorry it was a prank, those idiots put me up to it. come here.. you know I want to kiss you." I said kissing her forehead, cheeks, temples and anywhere I could with her face buried in her legs.

"That wasn't nice." She cried when she finally looked at me.

"I know I'm sorry, I love you, I do, you know that. all I want to do every second of every day is kiss you." I pleaded.

She leaned in and this time I didn't hesitate to attach my lips to hers. One hand on her waist and the other on the back of her head bringing her as close as possibly.