Emotions // Billie Eilish - (on hold)

Chapter Twenty-Three

Lily's drugs where slowly being taken down one by one so that tomorrow they could hopefully discharge her and we could go home.
It was the 24th of December today, I was really hoping we'd get to go home tomorrow, time would tell. It would be nice to have lily by my side tomorrow as my mum will force me home for Christmas and I'd hate to leave lily here alone.

She was doing better, still in some pain and still having nervous moments where she doubted herself due to the medications.

I would try my best to help her threw the rough patches. I heard a quote once that said "after a hurricane comes a rainbow." And I was holding it deep to my heart.

We were laying in the hospital bed which is all we could do right now I was playing funny vines on my phone and lily was watching with me, her head laid on my chest. Occasionally a laugh would escape her lips as she would tune in and out of the video. They still had her on some pills which made her sleepy therefor most of the time she was asleep in my arms.

She slowly stirred out of her sleep and rolled off me onto her back, I rolled onto my side so I could see her better. It was now 1pm, wed been doing this all day.

I kissed her head and she smiled up at me, until it changed. Her face screwed into a ball and she closed her eyes whilst holding her breath.

"Pain?" I said, I didn't like seeing her in pain. Where they had to drain her lungs had been causing her shooting pains which the doctors said was very normal but it was also very painful and I didn't like to watch it.

She nodded.

"Do you want to stand up?" I suggested. Whilst the nurse had said it wasn't the best thing to do it did seem to help the pain. She nodded again. I put my hand on her back to help her sit up as I climbed off the bed. She swung her legs over the edge and shakily stood up, gripping onto my arms for support.

I wasn't sure if it was from the lack of food, medication or crash or maybe a mixture of all but she was very weak recently. Another thing I didn't like to see.

"Breathe. Your fine." I said. Slowly she began to relax again and sat down on the bed.

"I hate seeing you in pain.. I wish there was something I could do."

"Just you being here is helping." She smiled at me, slowly she cupped my face and pulled me closer, pushing our lips together. Something about kissing her made me so happy, made me feel so complete. I couldn't help but smile.

-

Later that night lily was taken off of all her liquid medications, her pain was worse and she was extremely irritable but the nurse told us we needed to stick with it and that her emotions would calm down.

"Ughhhh!!" She screamed, slamming her head into the pillow.

"..what..?" I said. Confused as nothing had changed since she'd been happy 2 minutes ago.

"I don't know! I'm just stressed!" She sighed.

"It's cuz your not on medication baby. Remember the nurse said.." I tried to reason with her but there was no point she was just angry and on a war path. So I settled for hugging and kissing her until she eventually calmed down, despite the threats and swearing in the start it eventually worked and she was back asleep cuddled to my side whilst I watched more vines.
-

It was early morning, 7am and we where waiting for news on wether lily could go home.

"Merry Christmas, I love you." I said slowly kissing her head then her nose then her lips. She was still half a sleep but mumbled something alone the lines of Merry Christmas which made me giggle.

I ended up falling back asleep and didn't wake again till 8:30am when a nurse walked in

"Good morning!" She beamed. Me in my still sleepy state just smiled whilst lily took herself out my arms and sat up.
"I have some good news. Now ideally we'd like to keep lily a few more days but it's Christmas SO we are going to let her go home today but you guys need to make sure she rests and that she takes her medication! Ok?" The nurse continued and my face began to beam.

-

As we arrived home it was now 11am, I helped lily up the stairs and to the bed, it hurt for her to move to much so I had to be super gentle with her which was hard when I just wanted to squish her with affection.

She laid down and smiled, she seemed so happy to be home.

I laid down next to her and smiled at her.

"What..?" She said glancing at me then back to the tv.

"Your so pretty."

"Billie I have blood in my hair, my body is all bruised.. I'm anything but pretty.." she said frowning

"Your pretty to me." I said as I kissed her cheek.

She turned to face me and began to kiss my lips, she slowly removed my top and chucked it aside. I copied and also removed her bra, sucking gently on her nipples.

Once fully undressed I laid slightly over top of her, not wanting to hurt her with my weight.

I kissed down from her breast to her stomach and then to her thighs, I kissed her inner thigh causing her to moan and grab at the sheets. I licked slowly around her entrance

"..Billie.. please.. please.." she begged in between shallow breaths. I slowly stuck a finger inside of her as I licked her clit.

"Fuck!" She said as she arched her back and struggled to breath.

I went faster until she came.

"My turn!" I said smiling at her

Little did I know this would be the last time we had sex for a very long time.