Emotions // Billie Eilish - (on hold)

Chapter Thirty-Two

I burst threw the front door, the entire run here my phone had been going off like crazy. I ignored it I wasn't in the mood right now.

I slid down the door and let all my anxiety come out as I sobbed into my knees.

I could faintly here Maggie on the phone to who I can only guess is billie.

"She's just come in, I don't know. I'm going now hold on." I heard as Maggie came down the stairs, she paused briefly when she saw the state I was in.

"Yes..She's having a panic attack." She said to the phone before sitting in front of me.

"What happened darling?" Maggie asked me but I couldn't respond I took shaking breaths in but couldn't seem to ever get enough oxygen in.

"Did someone hurt you?" She asked I just sobbed harder. She sighed as she placed the phone on her lap and clicked a few buttons. She had put it on loud speaker.

"Lily? Baby?" I heard billies voice threw the phone I didn't respond, I couldn't. Hearing billies voice and realising all I wanted right now was a hug from her and she wasn't here just made me cry more.

"Please? tell me what happened?" She begged.

"There was- this girl." I tried to get out although it didn't even sound like English.

"A girl? What did the girl do?" Billie questioned and I noticed Maggie give me a sad smile.

"She was a fan" I said, delaying the point.

"Ok, did she do something? Say something?"

"She wouldn't leave me alone, I- felt trapped."

"Ok.." Billie said sounding confused.

"Then- She said-" I took a deep breath in before continuing "that she felt sorry for you because- of how I just wanted to get away from her.- she made. Big point of how I didn't des-" I was going to say deserve you but my mind shattered and I couldn't breathe from the sobs taking over my body before I could force it out.

"What the fuck!!.. You know that's not true! I love you and I'm grateful for you. I wouldn't survive without you."

Me and Billie ended up talking for an hour about what happened and just in general. Billie told me serval story's of things that happened to her as a kid that made me laugh. I didn't feel better and what the girl said echoed in my mind but there was nothing I could do about it.

I was now snuggled up on the sofa. Maggie had given me a weighted blanket that she said used to help Finneas when he was my age she'd also supplied a hot water bottle and a hot water bottle with a mountain of whipped cream.

I searched threw Instagram and my heart sunk at the video I saw. It was a video of the incident earlier.

I shut the app and called billie straight away.

"Hey, How you feeling?" She asked

"There's a video." I said. Ignoring her question.

"A video? Of what?"

"billie, Open your Instagram. Now." Urgency lacing my voice like a toxic potion.

"Ok ok. Give me 5 mins to find it and I'll call you back ok?"

With that she hung up.

It was 3 minutes later I got a notification she was going live so I clicked and joined the stream. Her eyes where red like she'd been crying and I noticed Finneas stood, arms crossed in the background a serious but slightly angry expression cast over his face.

She waited for a few moments not saying anything waiting for more people to join before she finally spoke

"Ok. Guys we have to talk. Because today I've been informed of a video and I feel externally disrespected by it." She said. I watched as the tears in her eyes reappeared, she turned to face fin as she recomposed herself. He gave her a weak smile as she turned back around.

"So most of you have seen it. The video is off a fan" she used air quotes around the word fan.
"Harassing my girlfriend." Her voice broke and she took a deep breath.

"I don't expect you guys to know this but my girl she's been threw some shit man. She's a fighter. But even if you don't know this when someone begs you to leave them alone you don't keep chasing them.. you really upset her. I sat for hours on the phone talking to her trying to calm her, do you know what that did to my heart? To hear someone I love so much so hurt? It fucking hurt me."
I could see her carefully put attitude slowly breaking.
"I wanted to put a public statement out to as you guys as my fans to just leave her alone. I love you guys and I think it's cute you all obsess over me but please leave my girl out of it. I have never felt so disrespected then I have to see my girl upset by one of you guys and I don't want to see it happen again.."

I scrolled threw the comments half of them where people in shock about the video or people asking what happened the rest where people trying to get Billie to notice them.

She finished up the video and disappeared off my screen.

I quickly send her a message

Me - 3pm
You didn't have to do that

Billie💖
Yes I did, I can't have people harassing you
It's not fair to you.
I love you so much
I don't want to see you afraid and upset
because of my fans

I thought about what she said for a moment it's true she certainly does care about me. I couldn't wait for her to be back in my arms. It seemed so long away. I prayed it would pass quickly but it only seemed the closer we got the more time slowed down.

I watched all the fan videos that went up for her shows, I was following most of the fan accounts at this stage. And for the most part billie and I spoke twice a day unless it was for reasons like one of us over slept (normally me..) but we did FaceTime a minimum of once a day.

A few sleeps later

Next thing I know it'll be time for billie to come home.