Emotions // Billie Eilish - (on hold)

Chapter Fifty (Half Way)

I sat in the tour bus alone as Billie and her family went to breakfast and I just didn't feel like it.
I was sat writing and singing.

"They say don't let them in
Close your eyes and clear your thoughts again
But when I'm all alone, they show up on their own
'Cause inner demons fight their battles with fire
Inner demons don't play by the rules" I sang the words and wrote them down.

"Cause the demons they are there, they just keep biting
'Cause inner demons just won't go away
So angels please, hear my prayer
Life is pain, life's not fair
So angels please stay here
Take the pain, take the fear" I continued my voice cracking at the end as the heart ache took control. You know the sort of crying where you barely make a sound? You can't breathe? You can't see threw the tears? All you feel is the stabbing pain in your heart and chest? Well that was me right now.

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BILLIES POV

I returned from breakfast ready to get the day started, I had a break today and I just wanted to spend it with my girl.

"Lily?" I called out no reply. I walked threw the bus and stopped at what I saw. I felt like my heart had been torn in two.

I slowly moved closer to lily who was beyond crying her eyes out. her eyes where puffy and her face was red from the lack of air, her body shook as she tried to breathe.

I sat down on the bed next to her pulling her into my lap as I hugged her.

"What happened?" I heard my mum ask as she came into the bedroom area. I shrugged. I hadn't gotten that far yet.

I watched as my mum Bent down and picked up Lilys notebook that had fallen on the floor. She red the page it was open on sitting down at the opposite bunk. I sat and stroked Lilys hair as she cried into my chest. I watched as my mums face frowned before turning the book to me so I could read what it said.

Yet again I felt like my heart had been snapped in two. I just wanted her to feel better. I couldn't wait till we got home and could get her proper help but we still had 4 days left.

I glanced up at finneas who was stood in the door way his girlfriend standing behind, their faces covered in concern.

I turned my attention back to lily as she pulled away from me. She stood up hesitantly.

"Where are you going?" I questioned she didn't reply she just quickly pushed past finneas and stormed off the bus with me quickly following behind.

She walked a little bit away from the bus where nobody could see her before hunching over and shoving 3 fingers in her throat, causing her to gag.

"Stop! Lily please!" I begged as I caught up with her. I quickly grabbed her hair as she began to be sick.

She went to shove her fingers in again but I grabbed her wrists, causing her to look back at me. The eyes I saw weren't Lilys. They where dead and empty.

"Get off me!" She yelled as she tried to free herself

"No! Talk to me!" I begged.

"Let go!!!" She screamed

"Lily.. please listen to me! Just talk to me.."

With that I felt her shatter in my arms, her legs gave way and I wrapped my arms around her as I helped her to the floor.

"Babygirl what's going on.." I said as my own tears left my eyes.

"Nothing, everything.. I don't know" she cried