Emotions // Billie Eilish - (on hold)

Chapter Sixty-Seven

That morning billie and I stayed in bed, Billie had briefly been out to explain what was happing and say morning to the twins before I began to panic over the Skype chat with a therapist so she rejoined me in bed.

"Baby your hardly breathing.." Billie said as she wrapped her arms around me bringing me into her chest.

"I'm scared.." I said, Billie didn't even get a chance to answer as her laptop began to make sounds to Indecate a Skype call coming in.

I reluctantly answered it and pointed the camera towards me as I sat up.

"Hi lily, my name is jewels. I'm gonna be your therapist for today." The lady spoke, she was middle aged with blonde hair.

She continued on the ask me questions about my life, my eating, my family and my friends. Before I knew it the Skype chat was over.. I quickly realised how much I'd panicked when there was no need to do so.

We'd arranged for her to call us whilst we where in France.

The next step.. getting to France and dealing with a 7 hour plan flight

-

Later that evening we walked threw the airport we had checked our bags in and where headed to security.

I watched nervously as Billie went threw the machines followed by her mum.

Next it was my turn, I took a deep breath and held eye contact with billie as I stepped threw the machine.

Thankfully this time it didn't go off the security lady smiled at me which was my cue to go so I quickly rejoined myself at billies side.

Eventually after getting threw security and checking in our bags we found ourselves in a small cafe. I sat next to billie with Maggie and finneas opposite us

I scanned the menu seeing all the food I wish I could will myself to eat but I knew I'd be going hungry.

There was many things like waffles, pancakes, pasta, rice, sandwiches but I knew everything was way to high in calories so I would just fast today.

When the lady came to take our order I felt that surge of panic come over me, I kept my eyes down whilst everyone else ordered there food.

"What can I get you?" The waitress said to me

"I'll just get a black coffee please." I said but Maggie cut me off.

"I really think you should eat hunny.." She said with a small frown on her face.

"Oh.. I.. um.." I stuttered. Trying to come up with a good excuse. Suddenly Billie reached over and pointed to a place on the menu, she was pointing at a yogurt with fruit. 300 calories. Maybe I could eat 1/4 of it that would only be 75.

"Um yeah... I'll get that.." I said, avoiding eye contact.

-
Eventually the food came and I willed myself to be able to eat but I couldn't even pick up the spoon, I just sat starring at it hoping it would disappear

I finally managed to pick up the courage to pick up the spoon. "It's just food.." I told myself as I put a scoop in my mouth. Every nerve in my body told me to spit it out and go wash my mouth out with water but I ate and repeated the process 3 more times before I couldn't do anymore.

Another hurdle done, many more to come.

A/N -
I'm sorry this chapter is so short so much has happened in the last 4 months from moving back home to finding my best friend to my laptop breaking and having to sign up for college to retake my GCSES (yep.. nearly 20 but retaking my basic education...) the good news in August 11th I'll be able to get a new laptop so fingers crossed from August I'll be back to updating 2-3 times a week. Till then now that things have settled down I'll be trying to update from my phone atleast every other week but hopefully weekly. I have another 20-30 chapters planned for this book before it will be ending and a new book called 'Distance' will be started which isn't billie eilish related (although it does have her mentioned in it) the book is based on a true story)

Thank you all for sticking with me and I'll see you in the next chapter soon :) <3