The Joker x Reader Imagines 💚

Happy Birthday

Mister J never wants to tell you how old he is but you don't give up. Nobody is supposed to know nothing personal about the Joker. But damn it, you are not a nobody!!

You've been trying to get it out of him since like...forever.

You always try to guess and he would just mislead you:

"Puddin, are you... 37?"

"Close enough, doll," he grins at you, satisfied to see you so worked up about it.

"40?!"

"Almost got it, Pumpkin."

"38?!"

"It's possible."

"42?!" At this point your voice is high pitch and it amuses him to death. Why does he have to be such a jerk?

"Ahhhh, Kitten, you're so close," and he just leaves the bedroom, snickering. Your mouth is open, attempting to breathe in some air; you are so annoyed right now.No matter what number you tell him, J would never admit to it. You feel childish, but you really want to know, what's the big deal?!

So you came up with a different strategy.

Every day you give him a birthday card, a cute cupcake with a lit up candle (that he refuses to blow) and no matter what he does, you just start singing Happy Birthday.

*Aha, there he is watching TV.*

"Happy Birthday to you..."

He cuts you off (like he usually does):

"NO!!!" he doesn't look happy but you don't care.

"If you want this to stop, Puddin, you just have to tell me how old you are," you fake smile in a way that he would notice.

"Go away, Pumpkin!" he growls at you and you just lift your shoulders, plant the card on his knees, turn around, blow the candle and head towards the kitchen to eat the sweet present.

*Aha, he's going over paperwork in his office.*

"Happy Birthday to you..."

"Seriously, Y/N ?!!! Shut up and put it to rest. I have 3 boxes full of birthday cards! You need to stop this nonsense," the Joker points his finger at you, threatening.

You sigh and put the card on his desk but you don't leave.

"I guess I'm going to eat this cupcake too and get fat," you complain, taking a bite. You go sit on his lap. You expect him to push you away but he doesn't. You turn J's chin towards you and then use your index finger to trace his cheekbone, staring at his face. His blue eyes avoid looking at yours.

"Hmmm, hardly any wrinkles, you can't be that old. But you're not in your 20's, I know that... Are you pushing 50?" you giggle and immediately get up and run, knowing he's going to try and slap your butt or something.

"Princess, go away!" You barely avoid the groping and the slapping.

*Aha, he's taking a bath.*

"Happy birthday to..."

"Shut it down!!"

"OK," you agree to comply, but you just get in the bathtub with your clothes on, the cupcake with the candle in one hand and the birthday card in the other. "For you, Mister J," you sweetly smile, letting go of the card right in front of him. "Here, blow this candle at least!"

"NO!! Stop pestering me, what's wrong with you?!"

"BLOW...the...flipping...CANDLE!" you scream, splashing him.

"You asked for it!" the Joker is heading towards your side of the bathtub. Oh, shit, time to run.

*Aha, he's on his laptop.*

"Happy birthday to you..."

"You must be kidding me; I'm seriously getting pissed! I mean it!"

"Well, me too, what the hell?! Tell me how old you are, you know I would die before telling someone else."

"You don't get to treat me like this, doll!" Mister J gets off the couch, scoffing. You wish you would have known he's in a foul mood.

You think he's joking but the insane look in his eyes lets you know that you probably pushed it too much. You're instinctively starting to back out, suddenly worried while you watch him stump towards you.

There is so much rage in him when he grabs your wrists that you drop your card and the cupcake and you already know you'll have bruises.

"What is wrong with you, hmm? Are you really trying to see how much you can push me? You want me to kill you ?"

"Let go, you're hurting me..." you whimper in pain, feeling your bones will snap soon.

His eyes have darkened.

"Don't play games with me, OK?" he hisses at you. "I'm not the playful type, I told you to stop this so many times!"

You start crying, scared and defeated.

"Fine, fine, I'll stop, just let me go, I can't feel my hands anymore...please..."

Your sobbing makes him soften his hold and he finally lets you go.

***************

It's been a week since you've been avoiding him at all costs. You get out of the penthouse early and come back late. Sometimes he's not even there.

***************

It sounds crazy (and he knows crazy), but he misses you bugging him every day with your stupid birthday song, the card and the cupcake.

***************

You've been sleeping in the spare bedroom with your door locked, afraid he might hurt you again.

He can't fall sleep in the big bed all by himself, tossing and turning on pins and needles every single night. You looked so frightened and hurt when he almost broke your wrists. Shit, he can be such a dick sometimes, but he can't help it. J finally gets up and decides to go to your door, trying to open it. It's locked, but he has the spare key. You forgot you guys keep it in the office.

He opens the door slowly and snicks in. It's not too dark in the room because you always have a night light on. The Joker sees you curled up in a ball, eyes closed, holding to your pillow really tight and ohhhh... his chest aches, strangely enough when he sees your wrists all bruised up, marked by his rage.

He takes a deep breath,using his hands to get his green hair out of his face and cuddles in bed by you, watching you sleep until he decides to pull you in his arms. You feel the movement and wake up with your head resting on his tattoos. You're not sure what to do, is he in one of his moods again?

You lift your eyes to meet his and it surprises you there's no anger in them. You gulp and hesitantly reach your left hand to caress his face, not knowing what to expect. J starts purring, shoving himself into you even more.

"39," he mutters, kissing your forehead.

Your face lights up with the brightest smile he saw in a while.

"Happy birthday to you..."

"I wouldn't push it, Princess," he grins, but this time there is no animosity in his voice.

"So...January?" you ask as innocently as possible, hoping you're on steady ground.

"Almost got it," J softly laughs, kind of surprised you still have the balls.

"June?"

"So close, Kitten."

"August?"

"It's possible, Pumpkin."