The Joker x Reader Imagines 💚

Deadpool Part 1

Every time Wade comes over for dinner, The Joker wants to kill him: Deadpool can't keep his mouth shut and it's known The King of Gotham doesn't have a lot of patience, especially when he thinks your friend has the audacity to flirt with you. His jealousy is unfounded, but how can you reason with someone so possessive?! You and Wade go way back and this is how he is: completely harmless but try to explain this to The Joker.

"Seriously, if I were you, I wouldn't let her out of the bedroom for days," Deadpool winks at The Joker that's sitting at the other end of the table, hovering over the food. "I am surprised we're about to have dinner and you're not locked up with her upstairs, taking care of business," he grins and... BANG! J shuts him right in the middle of the forehead, annoyed.

"Shut up, you idiot!" The Joker growls, pissed he can't really hurt your big mouthed friend.

"What the...what the freakety-freak, man?!" Deadpool takes the bullet out of his flesh, appalled. "I hope this won't leave another scar on my handsome face," he sighs, placing the bullet inside his belt as a souvenir since The Joker tries to kill him on a regular basis."You're lucky I heal fast, aren't you happy you'll have me around forever?"

"Thrilled! We're so lucky to be blessed by your presence," J sarcastically smirks. "Why are you always wearing this stupid red suit? Don't you have other clothes?"

This is a question Mister J asks very often and the answer doesn't change.

"Dude, I work out a lot, the world needs to see my amazing body, ok?" Wade points a finger towards himself. "Latex is the one of the best things ever invented, you should try it one of these days."

The Joker rolls his eyes and Deadpool rambles on.

"I know you're not a believer, but trust me, once you put it on...WOW!" he nods in agreement, taking a deep breath. "For reals, fits like a glove, stretchy when you eat an extra chimichanga, if you get my drift. Very tight squeeze though, that's why I am not wearing any underwear. I go commando ! Also had a Brazilian for a smooth glide and ouch ! That shit hurts, lemme tell ya'! I don't know why people wax ! Couldn't walk straight for a week."

"I'm trying to eat here soon, I don't need a visual !" J snarls, rolling up the sleeves to his shirt. "Y/N!!!!" he yells. "Hurry up, what are you doing?! How long does it take to change a dress?!"

"Coming!!" they both hear a door being slammed and you finally show up running down the stairs.

"Oil me with butter and roll me down naked on a stack of pancakes!" Deadpool gets up, takes your hand and kisses it while helping you sit in your chair. "I like this dress better than the first one ! It makes you glow; I can barely look at you. Might be because I need contacts or corrective eye surgery, not sure yet."

The Joker is watching the scene with his mouth opened, outraged the red-suited menace has such a nerve. Flirting with his woman right under his nose ! I mean, there is no point for him to be jealous, but how can you reason with someone so possessive?! You and Wade go waaayyy back and this is how he is: completely harmless but try to explain this to The King of Gotham.