The Joker x Reader Imagines 💚

Note To Batsy

From time to time The Joker likes to light up a Batsy signal and bless Gotham's vigilante with random handwritten messages. Bruce Wayne keeps them all, hoping that one of these days he'll find something useful that will get Mister J busted for good. So far, no luck: even if the papers have fingerprints all over, there is never a match.

Here is the latest letter Batsy just found on top of the tallest building in Gotham:

NOTE TO BATSY

- I really wanna show you my kid; I have to admit me and Y/N made a very cute baby thanks to my awesome genes and her beauty. Maybe afterwards we can go for a drink. Wait, she'll kill me if I go drinking and take the baby (don't read this part, nobody can kill me). But anyway, if we end up going with the kid, don't be a snitch and tell on me T___T

Wow, what an entitled prick! Bruce thinks, continuing to read. I am not a snitch!

- My Queen has a complaint: when she busted me out of Arkham last week, she noticed that the new straitjacket is a darker gray than the old one. Y/N said it doesn't go well with my blue eyes, but the previous model did. I'm pretty sure I'll end up there again so can you tell those guys to switch back to what they use to have? I don't want my girl upset over such a trivial thing. She absolutely hates it when an outfit doesn't match my eyes.

- I think I "accidentally" (Ha!Ha!Ha!) blew up your Batmobile today. I have a new grenade launcher I wanted to test, saw your car and Kaboom! But I think nothing happened to it; seemed alright afterwards except the two cracked windows, one flat tire and a bunch of scratches. So if you were wondering who did that, it was me. Were you inside? If you were, that was pretty cool, huh? You're welcome.

That insane lunatic, it was him! Batsy huffs, annoyed. He had his suspicions.

- We have Commissar Gordon. I really wanted to kill him but Y/N likes him for some reason. Hold on...We had Commissar Gordon, my Kitten set him free like...5 minutes ago, she just told me. My God, do you ever have problems with your woman?! My Queen does what she pleases and she gets on my nerves sometimes. Any advice? Don't read that, I don't need advice from you.

- Can you be more careful when you chase us? Two nights ago we had a date and you almost ruined it. I had to take a sharp turn on 84th and Glisson St., she clenched to my arm so hard she broke a nail. A NAIL! My Doll hates breaking nails! I had to hear about it since. Can you be more considerate?! Pay attention to what you're doing, man! If this happens again I will send my Pumpkin to you and see how you like to hear about it 24/7. Yes, this is a threat.

I don't think you want to deal with her, she's a tough little cookie. OMG, I love cookies and we just run out of the dark chocolate chip ones. If we meet for that drink so you can see the baby, can you bring me some? All my henchmen are away with business -see? I keep you busy, you're welcome – and I am too important to go get that myself. And I can't send my Princess; if she breaks another nail I'm screwed.

What the hell is he ranting about?! Bruce squints his eyes because he already forgot what the paragraph was about. He reads the last part again and sighs: Definitely needs some strong medications...

- Y/N wants to have at least 3 more kids. AT LEAST THREE!!! Aren't you happy there will be more like me around? I think it's awesome - you're welcome. I am tired from being a dad but I manage, I'm not The Joker for nothing.

- Oh, this is my request: next time I end up in Arkham I want to be in a glass cell. Why the hell did they put me behind brick walls last time?! How is everyone supposed to enjoy my handsomeness and breathtaking personality if they don't see or hear me?! I bet the ladies were upset. Don't tell my Queen though; she gets really jealous when other girls look my way. But how could I help it? I am just God's gift to humanity – you're welcome again by the way.

- I have to cut it short now, the baby's crying and I am on dad duty at the penthouse because Y/N is breaking into Gotham Bank to steal some diamonds she wants badly. By the time you read this it should all be done with. Let me know when you wanna see my kid.

Another memorable note, Batsy concludes, folding the paper and placing it inside his belt. But I kind of want to see the baby...