New families

Let me help you

Fletch had worked really hard the night before cleaning the house and setting up the Moses basket in their room.
Everyone was out at school when he brought Jac and Luc home
It felt strange to Jac walking in even though she'd only been away for a couple of days. Luc was asleep in his car seat. They placed it on the floor in front of them whilst they drank tea. Just staring.
"He really is a beautiful boy" Fletch commented. When Jac didn't reply he turned to her to see silent tears rolling down her cheeks
"Hey what's wrong?" He asked wrapping his arms round her
She laughed. "Nothing, they're happy tears. Bloody hormones "
"Really?"
"Really. I think it just struck me how much I love him already when I didn't bond with Emma at all when she was born "
"Slightly different circumstances though Jac. She was ill. Things weren't great with Johnny and you didn't have all this" he swept his arm round gesturing to the chaotic living room
"I didn't have you"
"True and as you know, I am amazing so think yourself lucky Naylor"
"We are gonna make this work aren't we? 6 kids is crazy"
"Well it's a bit late now" he chuckled "we'll just have to make it work" he paused "I love you"
"I love you too"
"Hey little man are you waking up?" Fletch said
"Shall I take him" he said
Almost every fibre in her body was screaming "no  leave him alone he's my son" but she knew if she gave into that, she would never let anyone touch him again. And Fletch was his father after all
After a short cuddle with his Dad, Luc was obviously hungry
"Ok time to go to mummy"
Jac felt a calmness settle over her as she fed her son. Once again Fletch was overwhelmed by the love he had for Jac and his family, he almost had to pinch himself to make sure it wasn't a dream.
Any illusion of it being a dream was shattered when Sacha bowled in with the rest of the family
"Hi. You're looking well Jac" Sacha said bending to kiss her on the forehead
Luc was asleep in Jac's arms
The kids crowded round to see their new brother
"Be quiet and gentle kids" Fletch said
"He's so tiny" said Emma
"Look at his little fingers" Ella commented
Jac smiled "Luc Fletcher, this is your family. They are a mad bunch let me tell you but you are going to be so loved because that's what we do, we love each other"
Around a week later, Fletch was slightly concerned about how over protective Jac was with Luc. She hardly let anyone else look after him, believing only she could keep him safe. Occasionally she would allow Fletch to have him if she needed a quick shower but otherwise she was with him 24 hours a day.
One afternoon Jac was in the rocking chair with Luc. She was yawning and her usually pale skin was almost translucent
"Jac , tonight, let me get up with Luc. You're exhausted sweetheart"
"No he needs his Mummy. Besides I don't see any milk filled breasts on you"
He knelt in front of her
"Express some or we'll use formula. Darling you're going to make yourself ill and then you won't be able to look after him anyway. Look at you, you need a full night's sleep. Please let me help you Jac. Please" he pleaded
Jac looked at the man who had changed her life so much
"He's so little though, I need to protect him"
"We both want that darling. I think you're trying to make up for how you were with Emma. That wasn't your fault and I'm starting to get worried about you"
A solitary tear rolled down Jac's cheek. She knew he was right, she was exhausted but she didn't know how to stop.
"I feel so guilty and sad that I didn't have this time with Emma. I keep thinking he's going to get sick as a way of punishing me for not wanting his sister and so I feel that I need to watch over him all the time"
Fletch's heart broke for her
"Why didn't you tell me it had got this bad?"
She laughed softly "because even to me it sounds crazy and rationally I know that what happens or doesn't happen to Luc has nothing to do with how I was with Emma, and I love her more than life itself now"
"Of course you do and she loves you. We all do. Let me help you practically and emotionally. I'm pretty good at both you know" he grinned
"Sometimes Fletcher you know me better than I know myself. I love you. You see that's another thing, I don't think I deserve all this. You, the kids, Luc"
"Well I disagree I think you do deserve it, especially after all the shit you've been through. And you know what we all deserve you."
They both had tears rolling down their cheeks now, Fletch wiped hers away with his thumb and she leant over the sleeping baby and did the same to him.
"Where's that breast pump Fletcher?" She said breaking their tender moment and making them both laugh so hard they woke Luc up who just stared at his parents and gurgled happily.