In love with coach (GxG)

Guilt

When I woke I was still in my room alone, I got myself showered and dressed with cozie on ready for training then made my way down to the kitchen. Dad was at his normal place and mum was making breakfast, but I hadn't expected to see Faith sitting at the table nursing a cup of coffee. She looked ruff with puffy red eyes and her hair looked like it hadn't been brushed and was just shoved up in a ponytail. She was wearing joggers and a baggy jumper, she didn't even put her makeup on. Something wasn't right I could feel it, I sat in my normal seat next to dad while mum put a fresh cup of tea in front of me. Faith wouldn't look up and just sat there with her cup. I looked at mum and dad to see if they would give anything away but they seemed just as surprised as me. 

''Rose I have to talk to you before training, please just listen to me, Claire you may want to come sit with her. No one is going to like what i'm about to say.'' As I thought something happened with Emma last night, I had a sick feeling in the back of the throat. Mum sat next to me and held my hand under the table, obviously she had a bad feeling aswell and wanted to be prepared. Dad put his paper down and sat back in his chair, prepared for what was about to be said. 

''As you know Emma was at mine last night, we had dinner then sat talking about the old days when we were together. I thought I knew what she was like and would be able to talk her around, but I wasn't ready when she informed me that there opening a branch here and she will be head of it all. Meaning she is moving hear and has already rented a place round the corner from me, unfortunately that means she will be keeping a close eye on you and your training for the team. She brought up you and how your one of my girls, how amazing it would be if you got through for my carer..... How if me and her started dating again would do wonders for you.'' I was struggling to breath as I knew what she was saying before she even voiced it. Faith was going to go out with her just so I could get on the team, I didn't want it bad enough for her to have to do that. Mum was now rubbing my back and had moved closer to my chair, Dad had lent forward as in he wasn't hearing what she was saying and needed to be closer. Faith still wouldn't look at me or anyone else for that matter. She wasn't finished talking yet. 

''Rose I didn't agree to it but I also didn't make it obvious it wasn't an option, I needed to talk to you before I did anything else. You are so important to me and I love you, I will do anything if it means you are happy and get what you want. After I texted you night from the bathroom I went back to sit down and Emma moved closer, playing with my hair and trying her hardest for more. I didn't know what to do, I kept pushing her off and moving away. I thought just before she left she had got the message, but as I showed her out she kissed me ( I could hear the sobs in her voice and tears were falling to the table at this point). I hate myself so much right now and i will not blame you if you want to scream, beat, throw me out as it's all that i deserve right now. I wanted to call you as soon as she left but it was 2am and I didn't want to wake you, I'm so sorry.'' We were both crying at this point, mum had pulled my head into her in a half hug to comfort me. I didn't know what to do or say to her, part of me was happy that she told me the truth but another part was so hurt as I knew her well enough to know she hadn't said it all for the fact my parents were there. She had enjoyed the kiss, She had forgot for that split second and enjoyed the kiss. Dad stood up from his seat and put his cup in the sink before throwing his paper across the room in anger. 

''You swore to us when we first found out about this relationship that you would never hurt our daughter, we trusted you and took that chance knowing that if it did come out you would do all you could for Rose and protect her as much as you could. Now here you are telling us all that an ex has given you an offer your not sure if you want and expect us to just accept this. Look her in the eyes so she can see how sorry you really are Faith, it the least you can do. LOOK AT HER NOW!'' Dad was so mad, iv never seen him this way before. He was scaring me and I wasn't the one he was talking to. I put on a brave face and looked over to the woman I love to see she had done that he asked, she was looking at me with so much sadness and hurt in her eyes. Could I really accept what she had done though, would I be able to live with the fact that she had kissed another while we were an item.  

''Drake I understand wh..''

''It's Mr Carter to you until further notice''

''Mr Carter I am sorry, shorly the fact i'm sitting her in front of you all explaining my actions shows how much respect I have for you all? I could of been a coward and just texted Rose saying it's over if she don't mean as much as she dose to me. I have made it clear that I love her and always will, that is why i'm here. It is up to Rose what happens from hear on out, if there is a shred of hope she will still have me. If she doesn't I will understand, but I will still do whatever I have to making sure she gets on that team. I had my chance and blew it for a women, I won't let her do the same thing and miss out. Im saying that as a lover and a coach.'' My dad wasn't backing down from this and I could tell it wasn't getting us anywhere, I walked over to him and held my arms out for a hug. His hugs always made me feel better plus it was the only thing I could think to do just to get him to calm down. I wasn't sure what I wanted at that point, then I remembered about training and how at this rate we were both going to be late and it would look good if we both turned up at the same time. 

''Faith I appreciate you coming to tell us the truth, at this moment I don't know what I want as its something im going to have to think about. Give me a few days please, I will call you when i'm ready to talk. oh and just for further reference, becoming part of the team is not the most important thing for me. I would never make you do something you didn't want so I could get on further in my career, if i do it it's because i managed by myself. You need to leave now as we dont want to be getting to the pool at the same time.'' I was still holding onto dad but I knew he also had to leave for work so I walked out the room and up to my bedroom for my bag, hearing dad say bye to mum and the door closing I grabbed my phone of the unit and keys for my car. Faith was standing by the front door still, mum was no were around which made me feel vulnerable. 

''Rose im so sorry, just one last thing I thought you should be prepared for. Emma will be at training today and may be flirting with me, I'm not going to encourage any of it as I want you to see that it's only you that means anything to me.'' with that she kissed me on the cheek and left, mum was in the doorway of the living room. Her face said everything I was feeling, luckley she didn't say anything. A tight hug and a kiss with a 'have a nice day' then I was in my car driving to the pool. How I was going to get through training was going to be so hard, I just hoped Hayley was there to help me through it. once I pulled up outside I texted her a quick message.

Hayley come to my car I need to talk, Rxx