In love with coach (GxG)

Decision time

Faiths pov

It wasn't very late when I got the text from Rose, Id been hoping all day that she would get in touch as I missed her already. We hadn't broken up but I had a feeling in my gut that she would leave me for what I had done, How could I of been so stupid to think I could handle Emma when I wasn't able to in the past. Had I not changed and grown stronger like I thought I had. I got excited hoping it was her wanting to get through this mess and stay together, until I read the message then my heart dropped. What did she mean by she's done something stupid? my thoughts went to the worst place of self harm, would she really go that far? I couldn't wait a second longer to find out, without thinking I grabbed my bike helmet, jacket and keys. Sending a quick message asking to have the garage door open, jumped on my bike and rushed over. Her parents wouldn't be happy to see me again so soon but talking on the phone was not going to solve this. 

When I got there the door was open ready for me to ride in, Rose closed the door after me like normal so we couldn't be seen while I put the bike on its stand and took my helmet off. We just stood looking at each other not really sure what to do, I didn't know if I should embrace her or leave her but at that moment she fell into my arms and sobed her heart out. All I could do was hold her close until she was ready to talk, we only stayed there a few minute's but I relished in them until she pulled away from me. 

''Im sorry Faith, i'm so stupid. What are we going to do?''

''Rose what has happened? just talk to me and we will work something out, I won't get mad at you princess.'' She wouldn't look at me so I placed my hand on her face and tilted her head I a was so I could look into her now red watery eyes. There is so much pain and confusion in them, knowing I had caused so of it was killing me. 

''I kissed Adam today'' Wow I wasn't expecting that to be the problem, but the tightness and pain I was feeling in my chest hurt so much that I wanted to scream and shout. I couldn't do anything at all. I had done worse to her, a lot worse that she didn't know about. I hadn't just kissed Emma last night, we had made out on my sofa and would of gone the whole way until my conscience got the better of me. I didn't tell her as she is still so young and I'm her first real relationship, I really didn't want this to be part of that memory. If anything I should know better, Yet I still wanted a chance of there still being an us. Plus having her parents there wasn't ideal as they would of never let me see Rose again or worse report me. 

''Faith did you hear me?''

''Yes I heard you baby girl, Did he force you Rose? pressure you into it? did...'' Rose stopped me talking and explained what happened, all the feelings she was going through and how she was happy her mum interrupted them. How disappointed she is in herself for being so childish and trying to even things out, if only that were the case. 

''Faith do you think we can really recover from this mess? Can we pretend it never happened and move on, or will it always be in the background with any arguments we ever have it gets dragged back up? honestly can we do it?'' I wasn't liking the sound of were this was going but I promised her I would never lie ( which I have already done). I would forgive her for anything as I just wanted to be with her anyhow, but she may not. I pulled her closer into me with a lump in the throat. 

''I honestly don't know baby girl, I would forgive anything you do because I love you and don't want to loose you ever, but thats me being selfish. You are still young and have so much to look forward to, adventures to go on and as much as I know deep down that you are one of the strongest women I'v ever know. You will struggle to forgive and it will always play at the back of your mind. But it is only you who can pick what you want in life.'' Rose was crying again but not as much as before, she held on to me for dear life in a way that you would if you were on a cliff ledge. I kissed her on the head and lived in this moment as it was likely that last time ever, my eyes were watering but I managed to hold back the tears. 

''I'm not sure what to do, I love you so much and the thought of you not being in my life hurts so much. But it makes sense for us to split and wait until im 18, see if there is still anything there when we don't have to sneak around and hide our feelings for eachother'' Rose's voice broke on the last word and the sobs were so loud im sure the whole street could hear, looking over to the door that lead to the house I sore her parents standing there watching. how long they were there for I didn't know but at least when I left she would be taken care off. I couldn't hold my tears anymore and let them flow, pulling her head up so she was looking at me again. Giving her one last kiss with all the love and passion I could.

''If that is really what you want I will respect it and leave, I wont chase you or contact you other then for training reasons but I want you to understand that I will always be waiting for you. I truly love you Rose and one day plan to make you mine properly, do you understand?'' she nodded her head at my words.

''Ok I will go, but please understand I am still here if you ever need anyone to talk to about anything, not just training. This is all you princess, as they say the ball is in your court.'' At this point Rose was crying so hard her whole body shook, I was still holding her tight and rubbing her back to try and calm her down, but in the end I knew I had to leave. looking over to her parents it was her dad who came over to hold her, I struggled so hard to let go as I knew at least for the next 6 months I couldn't hold her again ( that is if she will have me back after the 6 months). Once her dad had hold I picked my helmet up off the table and put it on, taking the bike off its stand and turned it round before getting on. 

''Faith wait'' those two words were all I wanted to hear but that was me just getting my hopes up that she had changed her mind. I looked over to her and both parents were around her now, I think for the first time ever I could see there respect for me in that moment.

''I need to know, does this mean your going to get back with Emma. I want to be prepared before training'' I lifted the visor so she could hear what I had to say next as I needed to make it clear what I was doing.

''I hope not Rose I really do but I have a feeling she knows your my favourite student, she will use that to get what she wants. Even if it meant threatening to not let you get on team GB, If that is the case I will play her stupid game so you get a fair chance.'' Not the nicest thing to say but I wanted to show her what I was willing to do for her, not wanting to talk anymore or hear her cry I started the bike and rode out full throttle as soon as the door was open. My eyes were full of unshed tears making it hard to ride but I really didn't care, I wasn't even sure where I was riding to as the last place I wanted to be was home just Incase Emma showed up tonight. I just kept going and eventually found a dirt track that led to a bench overlooking some open fields, a lovely place for a picnic with Rose if she ever took me back.  Sitting there watching to world go past helped calm me to a point, then I got a text. Not sure who it would be I fished my phone out, there was 2 messages. One from Emma wanting to know if she could come over which I ignored, the second was from Rose. I couldn't get the message up quick enough as I was still a little shakkey. 

I love you Faith, I'm going to see were it goes with Adam but please wait the 6 months until im 18 and i'll be yours again for as long as you will have me. My heart is yours. R xx