Bandmate ||Ricky Garcia||

《f i f t y - f i v e》

Ricky's POV

My dad once took me a baseball game. I hated baseball, that's why he took me. He said that maybe seeing a live action game would make me try out for my school's team. I didn't but that's one of the few memories I have with him that's actually positive. He bought me a signed jersey and all the candy I wanted. I thought it was strange because he was actually willing to satisfy my wants, but at the same time I was taking in every moment because moments like those were rare.

Now I get why. He didn't treat me the same because I wasn't his son. No wonder he tried to make me a mini him because I wasn't a part of him. 

I wasn't sure how to feel. A sense of emptiness hit my chest yet it was also being flooded with betrayal.  I craved to know why my father acted the way he did, but now I wish I just stayed under the curtains. 

I didn't realize how much I was shaking until I lifted my hand away from my mom's shoulder. The trembling cracked every bone in my body and I couldn't seem to be able to stop it. Was I angry? Sad? I don't even know but I just had to get away. 

''Why didn't you tell me earlier?'' I asked her clenching my jaw until I felt like my teeth would crack. 

''I just thought it would be best. I didn't want you to feel different around your brothers-''

''Half-brothers. Wait do they know?'' 

She started to play with her fingers, adding to the anxiety. ''Only Marc knows, but Justin doesn't. Please don't tell him.''

''Why shouldn't I? You know what? I should call him right now and tell him how our mother lied to us for our whole lives!'' My head feels light the moment I shot upright. 

''I was protecting you both from this moment, Ricky! The emotions your feeling right now are exactly the ones I was trying to avoid for you both. Yes, it wasn't the best decision I've made, but if it were for me you would've never found out.''

''So you were going to keep lying to me until one of us was rotting in hell? You know how much my father made me cry, and how many times I ran to your room sobbing because my dad didn't love me!'' As I looked down at her it was the first time I felt hate towards her.

 The same eyes that would look at me as I fell asleep, the same hands that applied creme on my bruises after my dad would hit me, the same mouth that told he had a strange way of showing me his love. Everything good about her was fading and replaced with a woman that lied to me for years. A woman that allowed a man to traumatize me to the point where I feel nothing but hatred. 

She is sitting in front of me. Her eyes beginning to water and her cheeks beginning to redden, in a way the sight broke me, but she broke me more. 

''Ricky I love you so much. I was only trying to do what's best for both you.'' Her voice cracked after every vowel and I felt a sting in my face. 

I looked at her. Shaking my head I started to walk to the door. ''Ricky, please talk to me-'' I closed the door behind me and stood up straight. Be strong. 

On my way out I bumped into Jester. Her face changed to worried and I kept on walking. ''Ricky what happened?'' I said nothing. 

''About the kiss yesterday, I want to say I feel the same way.'' 

I stopped, ''What do you mean?''

''I like you too! I've liked you for a while actually. That kiss just proved to me that you do feel the same.'' Her smile displayed much happiness for me right now. I couldn't stand it. 

''Look that kiss meant nothing. I don't like you, not like that anyways. Jester we've known each other since we were small, I could never like you.''