Bandmate ||Ricky Garcia||

《e i g h t y - t h r e e》

Ricky's POV

Emery was wondering about the house looking for Christmas decorations, that God knows where they are.

Its been weeks since I visited Audrey and things have been normal. The unconscious silent treatment we've been giving eachother slowly is lifting. We had our last concert of the year 3 days ago and I felt all the weigh lifted off me.

"Emery stop walking back in forth you're making me hella dizzy." I cry out seening him walk past me for the 100th time.

"Well get up and help me find the star. I got the tree and all the jazz except the star." He calls out as he walks back to the upstairs storage room.

"Just dont put a star this year!" I yell so he hears me.

"Its tradition damn it!" He yells back.

At that point, Liam walks in with a popsicle in hand. He then asks, "So you really ready to do this?"

"Yup Helen said its important to forgive but it doesn't mean to forget. Helen also recommended I face my fear aka mom. Exposure therapy she called it. Helen said to stay calm and take deep breaths-"

"Helen should write a book. Since you started seeing her, all you do is bring her up." Juice slides down his chin and he tries to lick it off.

''Yeah, unlike some people she actually does and says intelligent things,'' I say getting up to toss him a tissue.

''I am intelligent!'' He calls out as I start to make my way to my room.

''I'll believe when I see it!'' I yell back. 

''Wait before you leave, is your mom allergic to flowers?'' Emery asks holding his phone away from his mouth so whoever he was talking too wouldn't listen. 

''No she isn't, but please don't make a big deal out of this. It's just dinner.'' I say lifting my foot to the first step.

''It's not just dinner. It's Christmas and it's a whole fam bam reunion.'' 

''Yeah I get that, but you need to chill. It's still hours away.''

His mouth drops and looks around the house. ''Have you seen this place? I'm not even close to finishing the decorations and Liam is just getting the floor sticky and you're running away.'' 

''I'm going to shower so I can be ready for your show.'' I begin to make my way of the stairs.

''Well hurry because I need help setting up the table. Oh and I still need my star!'' 

''Yeah, I'll see if it's near my toilet!'' I yell and run to my room. I start to throw outfits I'll change into later and the comfy clothes for now. I whisk up my towel and close the bathroom door. 

As I open up the water for it to get warm I pull off my shirt. Through the mirror, I see the reflection of a past I've been trying to hide and ignore for so long. It's strange because even after years and years the scars still hurt if you press on them. 

The feeling of Audrey's hand unbuttoning my shirts sends shivers. I don't remember much from that night, but I do recall how her eyes rested on me. Her face, I couldn't pinpoint what she felt. Did she feel pity or sadness or perhaps anger?

If that was the face she gave, I have no clue what she would have looked like when they were still fresh. Now they are only noticeable if you get close enough. Time has managed to metaphorically and literally erase them. 

But she got close enough and she saw everything. 

I reach for my phone looked for her name and sent her a message. A short simple text that required the most basic of answers. Afraid if I start I won't be able to stop talking to her.