But , I Love You ... {Calum H./Harry S. Fanfiction}

Chapter 3

Yesterday was a complete disaster. Ashton gave me a horrible speech to i guess cheer me up , but in my case break me down more . Mum and dad left for two months . Why do they think Ashton even care for me ? This is bad . Then Calum .... That sweet , sexy piece of hunk said he loved me . Maybe i should give him a chance. I do like him, but he don't know what I go through. Ashton says he doesn't judge but i dont know . I will see him later when he come over. I do believe that Ashton has band practice. I hope , maybe i can explain . Yeah you should or else you might grow up and continue to be ugly and have a lot of cats . Thanks conscious , you always know how to cheer me up and note the sarcasm. I thought.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Ive ben laying here for 4 hours. I hear Ashton's band practicing. I dont want to disturb . I know the guys like me but i know Ashton dont . He might call me names and i might start crying . Let me stop i know he will call me names and i know i will start crying . I cant get over the fact that my own brother hates me . He definitely don't try to hide it either !

Ugh my stomach is growling . Maybe i should just stop eating and become anorexic . Yeah i can do that for a month and drop all my weight . I would exercise so it looks like im healthy . Maybe I should do it now and when school ends in two months i would be skinny and have a beach body . This could be a new start. A new life for me . No its isnt healthy but at least i could be one step closer to being fixed. Even though me trying to be apart of a life endangerment disease is fixing me , I kind of like it . Well the thought of me losing weight I like that thought , not the way I'm doing it .

**BANG BANG**

Ughh who is at my door . Did i fall asleep? Yeah i guess . Yawn .

**BANG BANG**

"Slut ! Open the damn door " Ashton yelled from outside the door . ️I lazily got up and paddled to the door. Once i unlocked it he bust through and hit my head an made me fall on the floor. Ouch.

"What were you doing in here ? " he looked at me . What ?

"Sleeping.. What do you want ? " i said harshly .

"Dinner is ready , you havent been downstairs all day , i know your fat ass wants food . Go get it hungry hungry hippo. " he chuckled. Ouch again.

"Im not hungry Ash, is your friends still here ?" i asked keeping a nonchalant expression.

"Yes , they are staying over until mum and dad gets back probably. Stay away from them ." He snapped.

Two fucking months ? Are you kidding me !!

"This is my house too douche ! Im not going to be locked in my room all day ! You're sick in the head . Why cant you be nice to me for one day in your horrible life . I can't believe you ! Yesterday you called me fat and ugly . A few minutes you called me a slut ! I dont even talk to boys so how can i be one ? So stupid !! You hit my head which is still bleeding and didn't apologize! Then tell me to basically stay locked in my room until mum and daddy gets back ! Seriously i cant stand you ! You are outrageously stupid and self centered. You are one heartless motherfucker dude . You can burn in hell for all i care . " i slapped his cheek and tried to catch my breath . Where did that even come from ? I must be on my period for me to just snap like this . I squeezed my stomach, nope I'm not .

I stared at him for a while . He was holding his cheek . He started to turn red . Oh no . He's about to hurt me , hopefully not physically . He opened his mouth .

"Sorry Becca ... Uhm I ... I really am . I should be a better brother , uhm there's dinner downstairs if you like . Sorry .." He walked out . Oh my ... What !?!? I could have done this longer ago i wouldnt be so damn broken . Ugh !

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Man , its 3 am and i can still hear every one chatting downstairs . In a few hours i will go get some water to settle my stomach . Not eating isnt hard , well if you dont think about it its not . Maybe i should do a exercise video .

I went to my parents room and got a stack . It had a thin layer of dust on it , no one uses it . But yet they are so fit . I mean i wear a size 16 and weigh 176 , am i really unfit ? Yes stupid . Thanks conscious . I grabbed them and walked out until i bumped into a body . Man i should have left the light on , its pitch black .

**click **

Whoa it's not now , now theres a bright flashlight from a phone in my face . "Uhm , excuse me , can you move the light from my face ? " i said picking up my fitness dvds .

"Becca ! Im sorry let me help you. " who voice is this . " this is just like last time dont ya agree ?" He asked . Wait its Calum .

"Sorry Cal , uhm i mean Calum . I should get going , sorry for bumping you . " i took the ones he had from his hands and walked towards my room .

"Wait , Becca .. Why do you have these . Its 3 am , i doubt you have eaten . Ive been here since 10 am and havent seen you . Why are you hiding ?" He flipped the light switch on in my room .

"Im bored . Oh and by the way .., i want you to still stay away until im fixed . I know you wont wait so im not worried . I dont love you but i do like you and i dont want to be hurt . Please dont take this wrong but i cant like i said before . " i played with my sweat pants string avioding eye contact . I keep lying but i hate it . I dont love anyone . I dont know what love is .

"Becca ... " he took my chin and met my eyes . He leaned forward and kissed me . Oh my , those lips . i kissed back . This is wrong but feel right . He pushed me against the wall . He started slowly to rub my back . *flick * he turned off the lights again . *click* theres the door being closed . Oh my what am i doing . This is the most attention ive gotten from a boy . What do i do ? There are like fireworks going off inside of me . He slowly lifted ny shirt . "Becca , please let me show you how much a love you " he kissed my neck and found my sweet spot. "Mhmmm " i moaned .

Then everything went black .

•••••••••••••••••••••••

I woke up with something on my belly . I flicked on my lamp . Its 5 am , what or who is in here ? Oh no . It was Calum . Im naked . Hes naked . Why are we naked ? Oh no . please God no!

"Calumnmm .... Wakey wakey ..... Cal ...." I poked his cheek . Hes eyes shot open .

"Becca !!!! Oh my Goodness . " he shouted .

"Shhhh! But Cal , did we ...." I trailed off .

"Yea... It was amazing by the way . He sat up and kissed my cheek. What ?

"Cal , did we use pr-"

"Yes . We did . Now get dressed babe " he winked at me . Huh ?

"Cal , what does this mean ? I mean im still broken . I hate my life , im fat , ugly , get bullied , and just because we had a mistake of an night doesnt changed anything . " i said covering up my chest with the blanket .

"Rebecca maybe you're not fixed . Maybe you do have issues . But i dont care . I love you . I want you . Okay ? Please give me a chance " he pleaded . Should i ? No wait till you lose weight Becca . Wait till everything is patched up with Ashton . Wait on it . If he really loves you , he will wait .

"No Cal , give me time . " i pushed him out my room .

"Becca .... But i love you ....." He mumbled outside my door .

{edited 6/19/15}