5SOS Preferences

im a mess / ed sheeran

i am currently battling a severe cold, and i feel like im going to fall asleep at any moment

ASHTON: going through the motions, going through us

"It's just hard Ashton, I'm just having a hard time." You sighed to your boyfriend of 5 months over your laptop screen. He had been away on tour for a month and people were beginning to be a lot meaner to you than they had before, and you weren't quite sure if this kind of lifestyle was for you.

"Baby. Please? I'll be home soon, I promise. What's hard? I don't get this." Ashton stuttered, clearly worried about what you were saying.

"This. Us." You say gesturing between you and him. "All of this is happening at once. I'm going through so many changes and motions and then us! It's just confusing and overwhelming. One minute you're here and then you're in a whole different continent." You breathed. "Is this how it's always gonna be Ash?"

Ashton looked down sadly, knowing that it was going to have to be like this. He couldn't not be in the band and he couldn't not be with you. "I'm sure we can get through it. You can visit me and I can visit you, I can stay up to Skype you and stuff. We can do it." Ashton said seriously, and you believed him, a long as you have him it'll be okay.

CALUM: I'm a mess right now, inside out, searching for a sweet surrender but this is not the end

It felt like nothing was right between you two. Fights over stupid things, awkward tension, unnecessary silent treatments. Things had just changed and you wanted peace. You were a mess, and wanted you and Calum to be the happy couple you were before his fame grew. You were both seated on separate couches in your shared house, minding your own business when you decided to speak up.

"Calum, I need to talk to you." You said quietly. Calum looked up from his phone and worry flashes in his eyes. He nodded encouraging you to continue speaking, with a false annoyed look on his face.

"I just- I wanna know what's happened between us. We used to be so happy and now we can't even share a bed or hold a conversation without yelling at each other. What happened?" You said sadly and Calum sighed. You felt your lip quiver, but you refused to cry.

"I've just been busy?" He tried to lie. You gave him a stern look and he looked down at his lap, obviously confused too. "I don't know, really. But I'm a mess. I just want our old relationship back, you know. I don't want it to change so I distanced myself from you. I'm not letting you go, though. This isn't the end." Calum said sadly, his eyes filling with tears. You got up and sat next to him, and he wrapped his arms around you bringing you into his embrace. "It'll be okay." You both whispered.

LUKE: see the flames inside my eyes, it burns so bring bright I wanna feel your love

Everyone that knows you knows that you aren't the most confident person out there, although you'd like to be. Luke had girls that were confident and beautiful throwing themselves at him on a daily basis so it wasn't really a shock that you believed that he would leave you for one of them. You try to not show that you're affected by the amount of female attention he gets, simply because you can't so anything about it.

"Babe? Are you home?" Luke called through the house. You walked into the kitchen where he was setting his stuff down and hugged him. "Sorry I'm a little late, ran into a few fans on the way here." Luke laughed and you nodded emotionless. Of course he did. Luke noticed your lack of emotion and his eyebrows knitted together in confusion. You didn't want to make a scene, so you sat in the living room alone while Luke ate. "Baby, please tell me why you're upset?" Luke asked kindly.

"I just- I'm really not confident in myself and I'm afraid after meeting all your fans, that you'll fall in love with one if them and not me." Luke was clearly upset at your words, and looked you dead in the eyes.

"When I look at you theres a flame so bright in my eyes it scares me. I only want your love, I only ever want to feel your love. I only want you. Forever, for infinity. For the rest if my life."

MICHAEL: I messed up this time, late last night, drinking to suppress devotion

You pressed play on the voicemail and took a sharp breath. He sounded so broken. "Hi baby. I'm in the UK right now, and I messed up again last night. I know you you begged me not to and I told you I wouldn't, but things are just hard for me right now. I don't want us to break up and you and I both know that we're at our breaking point. People hate me, I hate me. The bottle was just staring at me! I couldn't help it. I'm sorry I'm I'm a disappointment. I love you, and I can't wait to see you again." The line went dead and the tears that we're pooling in your eyes spilled over, making your cheeks wet. Hearing that voicemail made you realise all Michael needs right now is help, and you shouldn't be upset with him because of his drinking problem.