Way Too Deep

Prologue✨

"Don't cry for me , I'm not gone.
My soul is at rest , my heart lives on.
Light a candle for me to see and hold on to my memory , but save your tears for I'm still here , by your side through the years."
-Christy Ann Martine

Prologue:
October 8, 2017

I remember it all too  clearly. The night my father died. The night my mother got her fix for the first time in years.

"Life is what you make it Akashaa. Don't let anyone rob the chance of you being great or becoming great. My time is coming to an end and you know what you have to do." My father said, looking into my eyes.

I closed my eyes and nodded my head. I already knew where this conversation was headed.

"I know it hurts but you gotta stay strong baby girl. Your mom might do some things that will make you hate her. Learn to forgive her, okay?" He asked.

Once again I nodded my head. I opened my eyes slowly and looked at him.

"I love you Akashaa and I will always love you. The O.G. got me and I know he got you too. Like I said babygirl I love you and I promise you're going to get through it." He said before kissing my forehead and walking out the door.

It's not something you get over that easily. You see my mother, she's living in a street alley somewhere around here. The last time I saw her, she gave me her wedding ring. Told me she lost the baby and she was sorry. I didn't know she was pregnant and neither did my father.

I still live in our house all by myself. She only comes around when she needs money or something to eat. I lay in my bed every single night. Tossing and turning. Hoping my nightmare will end but it doesn't. My nightmare is really my reality.

I keep replaying my fathers words in my head , knowing that he's not here is something I have to live with every single day. Sometimes I wish that it was a decoy laying in that casket instead of him. I wish that he was really in hiding. Yeah, I know that wishes don't come true.

I couldn't help but listen to distant cop cars and ambulances. Today has been another unsuccessful day. I just wanted one day without hearing all the madness.

My phone started ringing and when I looked to see who it was, it was my boyfriend of 2 years, Messiah. I sucked my teeth and prepared myself for the bullshit.

"Hello?" I answered on the 3rd ring.

"What's good with you?" He asked me.

"What are you talking about Messiah?"

"You've been moving funny lately and acting real distant. Wassup with that? You with some other dude Akashaa!" He yelled.

Ooh I was not about to play with this boy. I was over him trying to accuse me of dealing with other boys when I barely had the time to see him as is. It was getting real old and played out.

"Messiah, tell your mom you're busy and come back to bed." I heard a girl say in the background.

I started laughing and then I hung up the phone. You see, my father always told me to know my worth. To never let a nigga put me in second place unless it's his seed and that girl was no where close to it. I knew it! I should've just gone with my gut when I had my first suspicion. Always trust your gut.

💫💫💫

It was about 2 o'clock in the morning when I pulled up to Messiah's house. I saw that all his lights were off which made what I was about to do even better. I grabbed his spare key from under his mat and unlocked his front door.

Creeping throughout his house I stopped at the top of his staircase and picked up a vase. I crept into his room and took the gun that was under his bed and walked over back towards the door.

I counted back from 10 in my head and let the vase slip from my hands and turned the light on. Messiah and the girl jumped up from their sleep and stared at me. The look on their faces was priceless. I watched as he fumbled under his bed looking for his gun. He tried to get up from the bed but I pointed the gun towards him.

"Looking for this?" I asked him while shaking my head.

The girl started crying while Messiah just stared at me. As the seconds ticked by, I was getting even more angry. He really had the audacity.

"I would ask how long you've been messing around with this girl but it's irrelevant.  I just find it funny how you're accusing me of doing shit like this but you're actually doing it. You definitely could have just broken up with me."

"Akashaa what are you doing here?" He asked.

"You tried to play me. You think ima let that slide? I must admit that you did play that part real good. I allowed you into my life. Around my family, knowing our family's history..."

"Your father is dead Akashaa.The whole plan was to get ya Pops killed and take over his entire empire. It was all just a part of a big game baby. I didn't plan on falling in love with you though." He said, smiling at me.

I laughed quietly to myself to keep from crying. What was his definition of love? He played apart in my dad's death?

"What?" I cocked  the gun and exhaled slowly.

Let it go. I pulled the trigger, putting 2 bullets in his head.

The girl had his blood all over her and she started screaming. She didn't owe me any loyalty but fuck her. I shot her too. Leave no witnesses.

At this point I didn't feel anything. No emotions. No nothing. I grabbed his baseball bat from his closet and started breaking everything. I felt like I was losing all of my sanity. I really didn't care though. In a way, I liked it.

After I was finished , I went back home and started packing whatever I needed. Which was anything that would fit into these duffle bags. I knew that someone would come looking for me since he was related to Tank. He didn't play about Messiah.

I looked around the house one last time before calling one of my dad's old security guards. I remember my father talked about always wanting to go to Charlotte, North Carolina and that's where I'll start. I don't  think it'll be a good start but it's a start.

-Akashaa Zenn