Way Too Deep

Chapter 48🌩

"Judge not before you judge yourself."

-Bob Marley

"If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would you be?" He asked me

I thought about it for a moment. Where would I be right now if I could be anywhere in the world? Do I want to be anywhere else but here? I don't really know.

"Here." I said.

"You could be anywhere else but here Sha and you still choose to be here?" He asked smirking.

"Why would I want to be anywhere else when I'm secure right here?" I asked.

He nodded his head. "You have a point. If I could be anywhere right now, I would be in Dubai. I love it there. That's my favorite place." I smiled at that.

The quick memory of my father and I's conversation came out of nowhere. Memories were starting to pop up more often now. Not that I didn't mind them but they were ones that I felt weren't sentimental. Like they were the ones that were pushed in the back of my mind and would be hard for me to remember.

We all sat in the living room in silence. Interested in our own thoughts going on in our heads. We all sat wondering what was the next move. What was going to happen during the next couple of days.

I swear I had most of everything planned out. I knew what I wanted to do and how it was going to get done. Patience and Impatience were sisters and they would occasionally play me against each other.

I looked around at all of the faces that sat amongst me. Over a short amount of time, these people became my family. There was nothing that I wouldn't do for them and I knew that there was nothing that they wouldn't do for me. It was strange but nonetheless welcoming. It was good.

My eyes landed on Jah's, who was already looking at me. He was pissed at me and I understood why. I just had my daughter not even a week ago and now I would be leaving her to go kill someone.

He thought it was selfish of me to leave her so soon to fulfill my need for revenge. It was selfish of me, that I understood but he came to my home. Where me, my daughter and mother rest our heads. Is it wrong for me to want him dead? Is it wrong for me to leave my child to go kill a man? Is it?

She would be safe, that I knew for sure. This needed to be done. This was something I couldn't and wouldn't let slide. Tank was going to die and it would be with a bullet from my gun. It would be all over soon and I wouldn't have to worry about it ever again. This will bring me closure. The closure that I feel like I need.

"Run it by me again." King said to me.

"Tank is always at the Black Warehouse. He has the most men there and that is where we're going to hit. My fathers warehouse I want to take back. He feels like that is his castle and he sits upon his throne. I want this to go as smoothly as possible. No distractions. No fuck ups." I said.

He leaned back on the couch and nodded his head.

"I don't think he expects us to come. He's been getting real sloppy over the past couple of months. Leaving trails for the police to find. Like he wants to be caught or some shit." He said.

"So let's catch him. Sha's been sitting on this shit for too long so it's time." Ryan said.

Jah sucked his teeth and shook his head. At this point, I was over his lil attitude he called himself having.

"Is there a issue Jahvon?" I asked him.

"Why would there be an issue Akashaa?" He replied mugging me.

"Oh shit, first names." Ryan said looking back and forth between us.

"You've had an attitude all day today and I'm honestly over it. Why can't you accept the fact that I made up my mind? This is my plan. This shit is personal. If you really feeling some type of way about me doing the shit then go back to New York."

He sat up. "Akashaa don't play with me. I already told you what it was and how I felt. I feel like this shit is dumb and you should let us handle it. You don't need to be doing this shit. You should be focused on raising your daughter."

"You fee like this shit is dumb? He took my father away from me. He took what was mine away from me and you think I'm a just sit here and let niggas take control of my shit? You must be out of your fucking mind. I'm doing what's best for me and mine and I could give 2 fucks about your opinion. If you're not willing to step for me and help me do what I got to do then fucking leave 'cause you pissing me off."

"Let's go into the other room." King said before getting up and walking away.

Everybody followed him out and it felt like me and Jah was having a staring match.

If looks could kill, I would be dead on this floor by the way Jahvon was eyeing me right now. I really didn't give a fuck. I was tired of expressing myself to this man. He simply doesn't get this shit but be out killing niggas in New York like it's nothing.

"You think I don't feel where you're coming from? You think..."

"You fucking don't!" I yelled cutting him off.

"You're supposed to understand me Jahvon. You don't get it at all. Do I have to keep saying to you how he killed my father, took over his shit and then popped up at my house? He knows where the fuck I live. What makes you think he won't come back and kill me? And then what? Huh? How are you going to feel if he comes to my house and fucking kills me before I could even get to him first?" I asked him.

He just looked at me and didn't say nothing. My head was pounding and I just wanted to be around my daughter.

"You choose where you wanna be tomorrow. Either with me in Chicago or back in New York. Either way, I don't care no more." I said before walking in the direction of my mothers room.

💫💫💫

Kali was was staring at the ceiling as I held her close to me. I needed to protect her in every way possible and killing Tank would put me at ease. I would be able to put this behind me and wouldn't have to worry about him anymore. I needed this.

I herd footsteps coming towards my room and looked up to see it was King.

"She sleeping?" He asked.

I shook my head no. "Just admiring the ceiling." I said smiling.

"You okay?"

"I'm mad at Jah but I know I need to let that go. What's the use on dwelling on it? He doesn't see things the way I see them and I just have to accept that I guess."

"It's good for y'all not to agree on everything but he's wrong about this. You have every right to be the one who pulls that trigger. Shit I wouldn't even have tried to stop you because I know what this means to you." He said, coming to sit down next to me.

I laid my head on his shoulder. "I know."

"Just put lil mama to sleep and try to get some sleep. We got a long day ahead of us tomorrow. We need to be prepared." He said before getting up and kissing my forehead.

"Okay."