Way Too Deep

Chapter 42✍🏾

"When reading we don't fall in love with the characters' appearance. We fall in love with their words, their thoughts, and their hearts. We fall in love with their souls."

Short Chapter.

I've been up since 2 in the morning. I don't know why I can't sleep. Shit is aggravating. From the corner of my eye I seen a book. I picked it up and looked at it.

"There's nothing wrong with being closed off." I whispered to myself.

I turned my head and looked at Akashaa who was sleeping peacefully. This must be her diary. I flipped through the pages. I wasn't going to read it but something caught my eye.

There were tear drops on one of the pages. I read the page and looked back at her. She was hurting and she didn't even say anything.

Dear Akashaa,

Before you catch a lil attitude, just know I didn't read anything but one page. It caught my attention only because of the tear stains. Let me just start off by saying that I love you. I love you so much that this shit hurts my heart. I never loved someone as much as I love you.

Tell me baby why you felt the way you did? Why do you feel like you couldn't have came to me and talked to me about it? I would never do you how these niggas did you because I have so much respect for you. I told you that I'd never hurt you intentionally. My intentions are to love you forever.

The first time I met you at King's I was like 'who shorty?' You looked so beautiful (you still do). I knew I had to get next to you. You gave me this vibe. This vibe I still can't explain till this day. When you smiled I felt like my heart dropped. Your smile is so big and it makes your dimple pop.

I was low key jealous you chose to sit next to Ryan's ass. When we had our first conversation I felt like I've known you forever and I swear you felt that shit too. King said y'all kissed earlier that day so instantly the thought of being with you was a dub. I thought y'all was working towards being something. He said no so I was about to shoot my shot.

I haven't known you for a whole year but I know that I'm going to marry you in the future and you're going to have all my children. When you told me you were going to make something work with that cat Naharie, I looked at you sideways. Like I told you, I laid my heart out for you. Told you things I never told any female ever.

The ball was basically in your court but you ignored that shit. I wasn't respecting anything that came out your mouth about him. I just wanted to keep my distance from you but no matter how hard I tried, you were on my mind.

The chick that I was talking to at King's cook out after you left my crib, she didn't mean anything. The conversation didn't mean anything to me because all I could think about was if I made the right decision.

The real reason to why I didn't leave to the city the first time was because I was afraid that while I was out doing me, something was going to happen to us. It might not seem like a real valid reason but that's how I felt.

I apologize for not trusting you. I was dumb. I should've known better to ever betray your trust but so many dudes was tryna see about you. I could honestly say that I was afraid of losing you.

Afraid of losing what we had but I was dumb. I could honestly admit that. Pushing you away could've led me into pushing you into the arms of some other nigga and I can't have that.

You did exactly what you were supposed to do. Put me in my place and let me know what the fuck was up. You loved me enough to stay. I respect that. Once again. I love you. I apologize for the stupid ass argument I started that day while moving the rest of my things out ya crib. It was stupid of me. The reaction you gave me just caught me off guard that's all.

You and Kalyani are on my mind 24/7. I can't protect you guys how I want to because of the distance but I know y'all always gon' be safe. I can't wait till she gets here. I have so much planned for. Call me extra. Just try to reason with me baby.

It's gonna be rough the 1st year but we'll be straight. Everything I do, I'm doing it for y'all. I promise I got y'all forever. I'm getting tired which I'm happy for. I've been up for a minute. I love you Sha baby. Don't ever forget that.

Jah.
4:24 am