Sanders Sides as things I and my friends say and text.
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Roman: I'm cocky and I'm horny. Fuck me up.
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Virgil: I'm a horny bitch with a daddy kink. I think. Probably...
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Patton: It's possible!
Virgil: It's possible and impossible at the same time.
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Roman: Well fuck me in the ass and call me Patricia.
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Thomas: Internet, why do you betray us like this?
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Virgil: I wanna yeet myself off a roof.
Logan: Me too, hun. Me too.
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Roman and Patton: *singing with the song in the background*
Music: *cuts off*
Patton: *stops singing*
Roman: *continues singing but his voice gets worse by the second*
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Virgil: Help me.
Virgil: There is a cockroach.
Virgil: And it is flying around downstairs.
Roman: You scared me. I thought it was serious.
Virgil: THIS IS SERIOUS!
Virgil: IT'S SCARING ME AND I'M CRYING!
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Virgil: Roman is throwing flip flops at roosters.
Patton: ...
Logan: ...
Logan: What the f-
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Patton: Were you being rude to my son?
Roman: UwU
Patton: Did you just 'UwU' me?
Roman: Yes.
Patton: Instead of saying 'I'm sorry for being rude to your son'?
Patton: You cretin.
Patton: You dummy.
Patton: You absolute hecking BAFOON.
Roman: You're the cretin.
Patton: (ily tho)
Patton: WHAT.
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Virgil: Logan said 'homp' instead of 'homo' and I'm absolutely dying.
Patton and Roman: *WHEEZE*
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Patton: I'm signing up to be a doughnut in a homophobia police force haha.
Roman: Oh my god that's amazing.
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Virgil: Bill Nye the Nazi spy.
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Virgil: Why is the fridge filled with nothing but water?
Roman: Uh... Cause I'm a thirsty ass hoe?
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Roman: *dies in a game*
Virgil: *wheezing because it was the stupidest death ever*
Roman: IS MY SUFFERING FUNNY TO YOU?
Virgil: *dying*
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Roman: Where the fuck were you?
Virgil: What do you mean?
Roman: You disappeared.
Virgil: If only.
Virgil: I was eating.
Roman: Oh.
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Virgil: Snow is like a cock. It's measured in inches, soft to the touch, cums when you least expect it and it never gets as deep as you'd like it.
Logan: Oh my god, go to sleep. It's 3 in the morning.
Virgil: Driving in the snow is like eating pussy. If you don't slow down and pay attention you could slide into the asshole in front of you.
Logan: I SWEAR TO GOD.
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Patton: Beep beep!
Roman: Beep!
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Patton: Frick with the fam(ily), you get the bam.
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Virgil: Shoot me.
Virgil: I dare you.
Deceit: I mean...
Deceit: I have a reason to shoot you...
Deceit: So, yah.
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Patton: I like bees.
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Remus: YOUR BRAIN IS AS EMPTY AS YOUR ANAL CAVITY
Deceit: *angered hissing noises*
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Remus: There's a dish in China where they boil eggs in the urine of virgin boys who are under the age of ten.
Deceit: I am not going to kill you one of these days I swear to god.
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Haha there's gonna be more of these. I'm just posting this so you're happy after the last chapter.
:)))
(496 words)
YOU ARE READING
Sanders Sides Oneshots
FanfictionJust cause I can screw off Top three rankings: #2 in sympatheticremus #3 in sympatheticdeceit #5 in unsympatheticpatton ‼ I do not own the characters, I only own the plots ‼
