Fitzsimmons

Too Late

Quick Note: Yay for wifi! So since the horrible reunion last episode, I have realized it will take awhile for their relationship to progress, and there will be lots of ups and downs. Enjoy.

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Jemma's hand jolted back from the lab counter as quickly as it had made contact with Fitz's hand. It was practically reflex for her by now. She would never let them touch for more than a half second, not even when she needed an extra hand with carrying lab equipment. Their work was taking longer than it needed to, but Simmons was convinced this was for the best.

"Why do you keep doing that?" Fitz asked, in a rush of words. He sounded upset, and Jemma saw why he would be. Trying to avoid the question, she restarted on the vaccine in front of her.

"Doing what?" she said quietly, managing not to sound hurt.

"The thing with your hand, and my hand. That thing." He gestured a lot, hoping it would make up for his struggle to get words out. Simmons turned away from the counter, making it look like she had to grab another dropper from across the room, although there was a perfectly clean one right next to her.

"Jemma," Fitz's desperate voice burst through her mental wall, and she swallowed hard and stopped in place. "Please," he begged. Fitz wasn't letting go of this. He was clueless about too many things. He just wanted to know one small thing, no matter how irrelevant it might be in the long run.

"I don't want to lead you on," Jemma whispered to the lab, too afraid to say it directly to Fitz. All that time undercover when she had to stay strong, yet she couldn't control the fear she felt about confronting Fitz. Because Fitz was more important to her than keeping her loyalty a secret. Fitz was more important than her own life.

"You think that touching me is leading me on?" Fitz asked in angry disbelief. Jemma, still facing the other way, nodded, not trusting her ability to speak.

"Let me tell you," Fitz started, his anger melted away and replaced by determination. "I'm already too far gone." His vulnerability in the moment forced Jemma to turn around. She was certain this would be the one time he would let himself be vulnerable, and she didn't want to miss it. "I can't undo how I feel. It's too late." He kept on staring at her eyes, which were filled with guilty tears and avoiding staring directly at him. Fitz sighed, beginning to revert back to his closed-off self.

"Sorry," he mumbled before returning to the vaccine work. Jemma stood in the middle of the lab, tears falling, and unable to speak or interact with Fitz at all. Maybe her reluctance to touch him had been more for her own security than his. His reply was complete and certain; his feelings remained. And since Jemma couldn't reciprocate, it was eating at her from the inside until she was the more broken one.

Wordlessly, she let her natural instincts maneuver herself over to Fitz, until she was as close as when they worked together before. The muscles in her bicep contracted on their own, like her next action was completely out of her control.

Her palm contacted his shoulder. It tensed under her touch, and he stepped forward a little, making her hand slip off of him. She shuddered, feeling completely rejected. Had this been what Fitz was living in? She took another shaky breath.

Then she let herself go completely, and wrapped her arms around him from the back, pressing her face into his sweater. He relaxed the slightest, and Jemma laughed through her crying, joy piercing her sadness. She barely heard Fitz's small reply chuckle over the feeling of Fitz's hands covering her own.

They were laughing at all the terrible problems they had faced as though they didn't exist. For a moment, they let their minds escape logic and reality, and imagined everything as only a bad dream.

"We're okay," Fitz whispered. "We'll be okay."