Kissin' Pink 3 | A$AP Rocky

Chapter 8

Crystal Collins

Today was my first real session with Dr. Evans.

The first meeting was spent with us getting to know each other. We shared with each other our interests, and our basic background. What I learned about him was that he was single, with no kids, and simply liked helping others with their problems when he wasn't dealing with his own.

I could tell right off the bat that he took his job serious. Although I had only known him for a few hours, I felt comfortable opening up to him as well.

Today though, he had me jump straight into the swing of things.

He told me that we would start off each session with a quote. Today's quote was "There are seven days in the week. Someday isn't one of them."

I forgot who the quote was by.

After going over the quote, we deciphered it and related it to my current situation. He then told me to share with him the most recent dream I had about the miscarried baby.

This dream was from last night.

I hadn't had a good nights worth of sleep in weeks.

It seems like every time I close my eyes I see her and it just breaks my heart to know that I'll never be able to physically be a mother to her. In my dreams, she is absolutely beautiful. She has long brown bouncing curls, sparkling brown eyes, and the sweetest smile. Hearing her laugh sends chills down my spine and whenever I catch myself dreaming I ignore the fact that its only a dream and that it's not reality.

I often find myself fighting to stay in a daze, the dreams just seems so damn real.

Laying here in my bed just thinking about sleep makes me paranoid. Outside my window I hear the whistling of the wind and the branches of the maple tree slapping against the glass of the window. I take a deep breath, turn the lamp on my nightstand off, and prepare for tonights war. I began to doze off and before I know it, I'm sound asleep.. and then the madness begins. 

"Mommy, mommy save me!" I hear her scream out.

I'm walking barefoot in a forest trying my best to follow the outcry.

"Mommy's coming honey." I whisper.

Immediately I want to wake myself up but she needs me and reality can wait. At the end of the forest, I see a large body of water and in it is my baby girl. She's waving her hands back and fourth and yelling muffled screams at the top of lungs.

"Don't leave me, save me mommy, save me!"

I run closer to the bank of the water and I feel the cold rush of a wave between my bare toes. Without thinking I leap into the water in attempt to save my child. As I get closer to her, her screams seem as if they're getting further and further away. I don't know what to do.

Do I wake up and face reality or stay and be the mother my baby girl needs?

₪

After today's session was over, I went straight home. Cameron was with Rakim and he would be with him for the remainder of the day.

Once kicking my shoes off and placing my things on the coffee table, I made my way to the kitchen. I wasn't necessarily hungry, but I could use a small snack, or maybe even something to drink.

Unfortunately though, I didn't find any snacks, nor anything to drink. I needed to go grocery shopping. One thing I did find though was a bottle of Hennessy in the fridge. Not thinking twice - I grabbed it, and closed the refrigerator door.

Sliding down the fridge, I took a seat on the cold kitchen floor in front of it.

After popping open the bottle, I took a drink from it. Talking about my problems, no matter who I was talking to, always put me in a bad mood. I knew this would make me feel better.

But I was wrong.

The more I drank from the bottle, the worse I began to feel. I found myself staring off into space, tears rolling down my face. I could have sworn I also heard a little girl crying.

The more I drank from the bottle, the louder the cries grew. I knew no one was crying. No one was in the house besides me. There was no little girl. None of it was real, but it felt real.

My mind was playing tricks on me.

"Mommy," someone cried.

"Mommy," someone cried again.

This time though, it belonged to a male voice and the voice sounded happy.

"Cameron go to the car," someone else quickly ordered.

Snapping out of my thoughts, the cries stopped as I looked around the room. Standing at the front door was Rakim, with a house key in his hand. Behind him was Cameron.

The smile on his face faded as he looked afraid.

"Daddy what is mommy drinking? Why is she crying?" he questioned, sounding concerned.

"Cam I said go to the car," he ordered again.

Cameron hesitated before quickly running back out the front door.

I looked at Rakim a while longer, out of it, before not minding him anymore. I took another drink from the Hennessy bottle, leaning my head back against the refrigerator.

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a.n. | it took me the longest to write this chapter because i had serious writer block lol. i actually didn't even write the flash back/dream. i had the idea but didn't know how to start. credits goes to my good friend ashanta. she has a wattpad but no longer writes. (idk why) lol