Hermitcraft one-shots

Stuff from school

Feel free to insert the Hermits into this if you want to! I'd love to see who y'all pic for what! (And sorry that it's short, school isn't all that filled with funny stuff to talk about!)

I need better friends

Me watching my friend press of a Keralis video without even watching it for a minute: * Dramatic Gasp*! (You know the meme)

How to steal a car

Me: If you want to steal a car and get away with it then all you have to do is break one of the windows and then too rolle down said window as to not raise suspicion, simple as that!

My classmates: *Nods in agreement* True, so true

He's not wrong

Classmate A: You stole the bike, didn't you?

Classmate B: I did

Classmate A: Why? Your not being a very good role model

Classmate B: Who asked me to be a role model?

(And honestly? As much as he's an asshole, and maybe slightly homaphobic, I couldn't agree more)

Home hunting

Me: Is this one good?

Brother-friend: No, to small

Me, walking up to another tree, thicker this time: Alright, this one better?

Brother-friend: Perfect

Danger, danger

*A loud cry echoes around the forest*

Me: O-K, that is either a dog or a dying kid

Brother-friend: Wanna go check?

Me: No

Brother-friend: Aw, I wanted to pet the dying child

Me: I-I'm not even gonna ask

I ain't happy

One of the "Jocks" bumping into, even if they could have easily gone another route and completely avoided me: Sorry

Me: It's alright!

Me, internally: Watch your back bitch, or you might just lose a shoulder blade or two

Now, you might be asking me why I did this? Well the answers simple, y'all seem quite keen on threatening my ex anytime I bring him up. And why do I bring this up? well, the next thing that will come out (Going by how its looking right now) will involve him. So I wanted to give you something happier before that!