Like A Gentle Wind (Belles Âmes Series #1)

❬ 005 ❭

❬ 005 ❭

Le Cygne

KINAGAT KO ANG nanginginig na labi habang pinapanood si Mama na hinahagod ang likod ni Papa. Tahimik lang ako at walang imik, hindi alam kung tama ba ang panonood lang sa sitwasyon ni Papa.

"Breathe slowly, Pa," Mama said to him.

Nangingibabaw ang tunog ng nebulizer ni Papa sa buong salas. I was silently seating on the sofa, watching Papa catch his breath.

I could see the visible exhaustion in his eyes. The way his eyelids flutter while holding the tube of his nebulizer, the way his large broad shoulders slowly lift like he was really gasping for air.

Binaba ko ang tingin at lumunok. It ached me seeing him like this.

I . . . I can't bear to see him like this.

Nakasumpong na naman siya. Ang hirap kapag ganito si Papa, kapag naririnig ko kung paano siya nahihirapan. Parang kahit anong oras mawawalan siya ng hininga, nakakatakot.

Nakakatakot kapag naiisip ko kung paanong. . .

Nararamdaman ko na ang pagbigat ng mata ko kaya kaagad na akong tumayo at lumabas. I went to the bench near the terrace and sat there.

There was the moon gleaming on the sky but I was too anxious to even notice its beauty. Itinakip ko ang mga kamay sa mata at marahang humikbi. Naninikip na ang dibdib ko sa dami ng naiisip.

I don't want to show to anyone but I was so scared of Papa's condition. Hindi naman malala iyon pero natatakot ako— natatakot ako na baka magaya siya. . .

Na baka isang araw, gumising na lang ako ng wala na rin siya ng hindi man lang ako nakakapagpaalam.

I don't want to lose my father yet. I know one day it will also happen, but not now. I'm not ready.

He's astmethic, you could say there were a lot of people who were and I shouldn't be scared because of it.

But that's bullshit.

I've seen how that damn asthma took someone away from me.

I don't want that to happen again.

Siguro, kung hindi lang dahil sa kondisyon ni Papa hindi ako mag-dedecide na kumuha ng nursing. Yes, I took it for him. I took that course so that I could be the one to nurse him. Na para kapag inaatake siya ng gano'n, hindi ako parang tangang nakatunganga lang habang pinapanood ang papa kong hirap nang huminga.

I want to do something to help him.

But I don't know what to do.

Habang nakapikit ako, mayroong mga imaheng bumalik sa alaala ko. Mga bagay na ayaw ko ng balikan pa.

I covered my mouth as I let out a sob and opened my eyes. Ayaw ko na palang pumikit, ayaw ko nang maalala ulit iyon.

This. . . will be fine. Papa will be fine. He will be. He. . . should be. Calm your nerves, Sol.

He will.