Dried Ink

20

Kareema

I swear guys are so funny. Even I can't remember what and what Anas said as he ate the food.

He even said something along the lines of "the spaghetti is slightly undercooked. Just how I like it"

I kept laughing at him. Nothing special in spaghetti and sauce.

I passed him the water when he was done. I'd just eaten half plate of mine.

"Why do you have an office, this block doesn't look like the hospital" I inquired.

"This is the administrative block. This belongs to me for when I come in when I don't have work. Or when I decide to sleep, I have a bed through that door" he pointed towards a door.

I nodded slowly.

"I thought Lara was coming" he pointed out.

We were avoiding the elephant in the room. Pretending it doesn't exist.

"Yeah. It was a ploy to have you surprised" I laughed.

"Well I was surprised. A beautiful surprise" He smiled at me.

"So um.......how did you meet ummm....uhhh......"

"Ihsan. Her name was Ihsan" he said.

I nodded slowly.

"Met her in school. She came with her elder sister, it was love at first sight. For both of us" he said smiling a little. A little sad smile.

"I asked for her number and she gave it to me and we clicked immediately. We got married at a young age, she was seventeen and I was twenty. What did we know about marriage?

I had to blackmail Ummi who in turn blackmailed Abby for us to get married.

Things started getting though, you know pressure from school and having to take care of a wife, a whole human being. It got worse when she got pregnant.

What would I do with a child? I was too young to father a child and when the baby didn't make it I was relieved.

Her heart broke and she went into depression. I was in my happy bubble not knowing or caring what she went through.

I mean, I haven't even gotten to live my life yet, I don't know what others might call it but I was a child.

I was a kid baby, having to take care of another kid. Ummi warned me against the marriage. She said I should wait, she said we had all the time in the world. But I just wanted to....you know? Get married...... I don't know why it seemed so alluring at that time"

He bent his head low and I could tell he was finding it difficult opening up all those memories.

"Anas. It's okay, we could do this some other time" I held his hands in mine.

He squeezed my hands gently.

"No. I don't want another issue to arise because of this, just let me tell you now that I can" he pleaded.

"Okay Anas" I nodded.

"She suffered from depression, bipolar disorder and anxiety, right under my nose but I never saw or noticed it, she told me she had a therapist and I said good for her. Who does that? This is someone I was supposed to love and protect. But I said good for her.

When I started my housemanship I literally disappeared from home. I would leave for days, weeks without even calling her to find out if she was fine, I sent her money though, enough for her to travel out of the country and live wherever." he took a deep breath.