Dried Ink

30

The second day passed in a blur with Karima refusing to eat. She hasn't been able to sleep since after she fainted in the hospital.

She has also refused to talk to anyone. She would answer questions with gestures and never initiated a conversation.

She'd sit next to Ummi and only left her when she went to pray.
Lara has been with her completely forgetting the fact that she was now a married woman.
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The third day brought everything back in full force, the memories and his last moments, that day; Karima cried like she'd had her heart ripped from her chest because that was honestly how it felt.

Every effort to get her to stop went to the trash as she felt everything raw, like an open cut.

Ummi cried a lot too.

Lara's father wrapped up the prayers and encouraged them to have faith in Allah that Anas is in a better place.

Deep down, Karima believed he's in a better place. She had never met a more religious person like Anas. But she still felt the pain, she still cried. If she wasn't with him in his final moments, she would never believe he's gone.

Somehow, she still thinks her phone will ring and his name will appear, she still thinks she'll pick up and hear him say; "Hey baby"
Lara was by her side the whole time, she'd cry when Karima cried and only fell asleep when sleep managed to snatch her away.

Mama wanted to take Karima back home but she didn't want it to seem somehow, and besides even with the fact that Anas has passed, her daughter was still a daughter in law to the Gaya's.

Karima still hasn't spoken to anyone, even after seven days, Ummi was starting to get worried.

"Laraba? Can you call Karima for me?" Ummi said.

Lara stood up and went to find Karima. As always, she was in Anas' closet with knees to her chest and her head to her knees with tears falling from her eyes.

"Karima? Ummi said to come and get you" Lara called.

Karima stood up and wiped her tears then followed Lara downstairs.

She went to sit at Ummi's feet, Ummi's eyes glazed with unshed tears. Anas would always sit at her feet, she pitied Karima with everything in her. The young girl has just lost her husband the day she got married to him.

"Karima" Ummi called.

Karima looked at Ummi.

"Did you create Anas?" Ummi asked.

Karima shook her head in negation.

"Don't you think the one who created him loves him more than you do?" Ummi asked again.

Karima bent her head slightly in shame.

"I know you love Anas, all of us do. I gave birth to him, do you think anyone loves him as much as I do?" Ummi asked.

Karima shook her head in negation. Again.

"Karima, do you not know that every soul must taste death? Or do you think all of us are here to stay?
Do you not know that everyone has his own time in this world? Do you not know that all of us are slowly dying?

Did you forget Anas died with Allah's name on his lips?
Did you forget how Anas lived?
Did you forget Anas lived with a heart as pure as gold?

At this point, Ummi's breath hitched and her tears fell from her eyes.
Karima stood up and held Ummi to her, this is what Anas wanted her to be and she has failed him already.
Instead of being Ummi's strength, she caused stress for her.

"Karima please, I beg you, please stop crying always. We're clearing up his room tomorrow, then you can stay here as much as you want, if it's too much for you, you can go home okay?
I need you to be strong, this is a test of faith from Allah, you have to pass it"

Karima nodded and smiled at Ummi.
Lara watched them from the kitchen door and a smile broke out of her tear stained face. Her bestfriend would have gotten along with her mother in-law, but Allah knows best.

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Karima didn't take anything from Anas' belongings except  his cellphone and the letter he left. Everything else was donated to charity.
A lot of tears were shed before she finally decided to leave the house. Ummi's uncanny resemblance to Anas  was too much for her frail heart.

Ummi hugged her and said a lot of words of encouragement to her, she prayed for her and told her she was welcome to the house whenever she wished.
She wanted to say Thank you to Ummi but her words failed her. She just held unto Ummi and cried some more, Adama was there too. She wrapped her sister in-law in a warm hug and let her cry into her scarf.
Ya Isah awkwardly watched the two from a distance.
He knew all what his wife was going through but can only imagine what his little sister was going through.

Karima has lost all the life in her eyes, she has lost her smiles and her face now carried creases on her forehead. She was dark but one could easily make out the bags underneath her eyes, she has already lost so much weight because all she did was cry, drink water, pray and cry.

Uncle Khalifa wiped his tears and went ahead to wait for her in the car, seeing her like this not only broke his heart but also shattered his composure.

She sat with him in the passenger seat, her hijab swallowing her completely. There were still faint marks of red henna on the skin of her now frail hands. He looked away and focused on the road.

He followed her into the house and after series of hugs from everyone, he escorted her to the room. Mufida and Muflihah were still downstairs and that gave him the opportunity to talk to her.

"How are you?" he asked and immediately regretted it when her bloodshot eyes fell on him.
He mumbled a sorry.

"I know it's not easy, I need you to be strong, it's not in the prophet's teachings to continuously cry for the dead. I know it's easier said than done but please Karima, If anything, you should be happy he died in your arms, you should be happy he died with Allah's name on his tongue, you should be proud you helped him remember his Lord at the time of death. KK, Anas is in a better place In Sha Allah. Please pick yourself up and replace your constant cries by praying for him. Eat healthy and try to sleep." Uncle Khalifa concluded.

Instead of making her feel better, she felt worse. She knew everything Uncle Khalifa said was right.

"B-but I love him, I miss him so much Uncle Khalifa" she managed to croak out.

Uncle Khalifa was glad to have made her speak after a week of not saying a word to anyone.

"Allah loves him more KK, Let's try and do better okay? Pray for him and always always read the Qur'an. It helps" He adviced.

She nodded her head with a new found determination to be better and stop moping around. Anas has already left, all she could do now is pray for him and wait for her own time. As true as it sounds, it was hardest to admit it.

"I miss him too. He is one of my best friends K" Uncle Khalifa admitted.

Karima nodded her head, she couldn't find words anymore. She remembered the one glimpse she had of Uncle Khalifa when she first got to the hospital, his face was red and his eyes were glazed with tears.

Khalifa stood up from across her and gave a tight lipped smile. He was glad he at least got a few words from her tonight.

"Sleep well KK" he said and went towards the door. He had already given up on hearing anything from her when he heard her voice.

"Thank you Uncle Khalifa"