"I love to taste you, but I hate kissing you" Chris admitted, his words cut me deeper than one thousand knives. He refuses to love me, but loves to touch me.
"Truth or dare Chris?" I ask in between sloppy kisses, loving the way that his hands roamed...
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My frustration had peaked; I was familiar with the feeling of intense irritation, but not like this. The flight was six hours, and within those six hours, Chris and I had argued without coming to a conclusion to our relationship. This game was old, and if I didn't have to live four doors down from him, alongside having mutual friends, this scenario would have been cut off long ago. We ended up taking the last two hours of the flight to sleep off our anger, but ultimately that didn't work for me after we landed.
In Chris's mind, he truly believed that his behavior was normal. He thought that by allowing me to spend the night with him, picking me up from the bar, and having a toxic and unspoken interest in me was his way of showing me that he cared for me. Nothing about it made sense, but to him, he was adamant that I was the only woman who had ever gotten this far with him. To be honest, I wasn't sure what I believed, but in some way I could see that his efforts had changed.
Despite my burning desire to believe that Chris wants things to work between us, I knew that it was all made up in my head. The chemistry between us is unimaginable, but I can't remember the last time that we genuinely enjoyed each other's company. He had proven multiple times that this business with Rio, and his own doubt, was worth more than my feelings. This situation was like a circle that I couldn't avoid.
Once our flight had landed, all four of us silently headed into the airport to locate our luggage. It was blatant that I wasn't the only one who remained upset. Emily had hardly spoken, and I knew that it was because she genuinely didn't want Rio to stay in New Mexico. Rio was quiet because he felt guilty, he knew that I was still irritated to be involved in this madness, and I suppose that it was weighing on him. The entire vibe was off, and I knew that it would only get worse once we headed to our hotel rooms.
Chris and Rio headed inside of the hotel while Emily and I waited outside, watching the bellboys place our luggage onto the trolley. I watched as she tapped her finger against her leg anxiously, but she didn't voice her concerns. I swallowed as I looked inside of the hotel, wondering how on earth the next few days were going to play out. My nerves were through the roof, and as much as I wanted to be there for Rio before his departure, it felt difficult for both Emily and myself.
Emily coughed. "I take it that the flight was as unenjoyable for you as it was for me?"
I stifled a laugh. "Yeah"
"What are we even doing? We involved ourselves with drug dealers, one is surrendering himself and the other is just damaged goods" she shook her head.
"I know, but we just have to be there for Rio, that's the main reason that we came, right?" I shrugged.
"I don't know, Luce" Emily sighed. "I want to be happy for the remainder of our time together, but it's just prolonging the inevitable"
