"I love to taste you, but I hate kissing you" Chris admitted, his words cut me deeper than one thousand knives. He refuses to love me, but loves to touch me.
"Truth or dare Chris?" I ask in between sloppy kisses, loving the way that his hands roamed...
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"Fuck! I love you, Oh my god!"
I love you, I love you, She said the word Love. Love
"You'll never find anyone like me Chris! Never! There is nobody that can compare to me, you'll spend the rest of your life looking and you won't find it" Alanna screams at me as she frantically grabs her belongings from my room.
"I love you! And this is what you give me? You're leaving me?" She continues.
"You will never love anyone like me Chris, never!" She cries.
"I can't love you Alanna, I'm sorry" I sympathize.
Alanna's screams resonated in my head, from the moment I left her, I knew that I shouldn't have, but I did. The girl loved me, and I couldn't love her anymore.
The moment she began confessing her love to me was the moment my brain stopped, and I could no longer be the man for Alanna. Her cries and screams just sit in my brain as a reminder that I cannot love someone, ever since I lost my mom, she has all my love, even in the afterlife.
I snap myself out of my daydream as I stared into the mirror in the hotel bathroom, recollecting my bad memories with Alanna. Even though I met up with her years ago, after finding out that she was so happy and engaged- It still fucked me up.
This was not about me loving Alanna, It was about how she said that nobody would ever compare to her. It was about how badly that I hurt her, I didn't want to do that again and I couldn't do that again. I walked out of the bathroom with a shirt and some joggers on, I needed a drink. I needed to just forget about this and talk to her about it later.
"Lucie" I say her name quietly, As she sits on the edge of the bed wrapped in an oversized tee shirt while tears fell from her eyes.
"I- I didn't mean it, Chris I promise!" She defends herself before I can say anything. Her eyes were puffy, I could tell that she felt guilty. I didn't want her to feel guilty for admitting to the love that she had for me after all this time.
"I care about you, And I promise we will talk about this later but I need a moment to myself" I say, grabbing her shoulders to try and calm her down. I wasn't deliberately trying to hurt her, I was just afraid.
"O-okay" She sniffles, without saying another word. As I leave Lucie alone in the hotel room, I know that Georgia would be on my trail at any moment if she finds out I left after hearing that statement fall from Lucie's lips.
