𝐓𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐡 𝐨𝐫 𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐞?

44

I take a small shower to wash off the smell of the club which was cigarettes and booze. I then looked over the terrace in my tank top and underwear admiring the city but wondering where Chris could be out there and why he wasn't answering my messages.

"Hey baby, it's about 2:15, and I know you're probably gambling and having a good time, but I miss you. I'm at the room just getting ready for bed, call me if you need anything. I love you"

I leave a voicemail and try to go inside to sleep, hoping that everything went smoothly tonight.
I shuffle myself into the bedsheets, hating the fact that I was sleeping alone but knew that he was having fun.

**

I wake up startled, I hear things knocking over and I immediately woke up. I hoped it was Chris and it wasn't someone who could've gotten ahold of the room key which was nearly impossible.

"Chris?" I whisper quietly, as I make an attempt to get out of bed. I turn on a light and see him leaning against the wall,  with his hands in his hair. The clock read 3:30am.

"Baby?" I say, as I get up slowly to walk over to him. He looked out of it, His eyes were bloodshot and he smelled of cheap whiskey.

"Luce" He says slowly, his voice trembling.
This wasn't the tone of voice that I wanted to hear coming from him at three in the morning.

"What?" I ask as my voice goes cold, I was concerned as to why he was acting so weird.

"I'm pretty fucked up" He says quietly, as the wall was his only support that prevented him from stumbling down.

"I can see that, Did you have fun?" I ask, while Still being hesitant.

"No" He laughs drunkenly, and slides down the wall, to sit on the floor.

"Why not?" I ask, as my worries started to come pooling into my thoughts.

"I fucked a stripper Lucie" He admits, as he sits on the floor avoiding my gaze. My throat got caught in my chest, my mouth became dry and my stomach dropped. I felt like throwing up right here and right now.

"I stopped because I love you and I knew that it was wrong" He says while attempting to stand up and face me.

"You- you what?" I choke on my words, wanting to throw the lamp by the bedside at his head.

"I fucking got myself caught up! I was drunk, I was irrational and I didn't notice what I was doing until it was too late" He defends himself. I didn't want to listen to his excuses.

"You cheated on me" I state as I feel the tears begin to flow to my eyes. Saying it out loud was my worst nightmare come true.

"No! No! No! I didn't fucking mean to do this!" He pleads with me, attempting to make me believe him.

"You didn't mean to? You fucking did it Chris! You're admitting to it right now, it doesn't matter if you didn't 'Mean' to cheat on me but you did!" I shout, wiping the tears from my eyes.

"I fucked up! Lucie, I love you so much! I wasn't and still am not thinking clearly!" He argues with me, still hoping that it will just go away.

"The amount of shit that you have put me through is constant Chris. First the lies about Rio and now this? You're stressing me out, which isn't good for my baby so please leave" I demand, trying to remain calm despite the fire that was burning inside of me.

"Lucie come on! I told you-" He behind, as I cut him off. I didn't want to hear another lie come out of his filthy mouth.

"No, just get out!" I shout, while pushing him out the hotel door. I then slam it, not caring how late it was and who would complain. I lay myself down in the bed alone, as I cry, and I cry and I cry. I should've known right?

**

The next morning came, and I don't know where Chris slept, nor did I care. All that I knew was that I was going on a flight home even though we were supposed to be here for another day.

I thankfully snuck out and caught a taxi to the airport before he could've even woken up from his drunk slumber, if he even had the audacity to sleep peacefully after what he tried to do to me.

My flight was short, but it felt like forever as I sat there alone in my own head, wondering what I could've done. Truth is, I couldn't have done anything, if you love someone who is carrying your child, then you wait for them to be able to have intimate moments. In some cases, women do have sex during pregnancy, I am not one of them.

When I arrived home, I decided to take a bag of my things, and beg Georgia and Jon to let me stay with them until I can clear my head. I was almost 5 months pregnant now and I don't think I can deal with forgiving him right now or ever if I'm being honest.

I'm unsure if I will, or if I'll even come back home. I know Chris, and if I don't give him the slightest hope that I'll be back within a month, a week, or even a year, he will go back to his old and bad habits.

After getting a taxi to the house, I got in my car and drove fast, so that I could collapse on the couch and cry to Georgia. As much as I hate telling them that he did this, after so much convincing that he wouldn't, I just wished for better and I was wrong. I arrived and knocked, I'm sure they weren't expecting me for another 2 days, especially not with a bag in my hand.

"Hey- woah? What're you doing?" Jon says, very confused once he noticed the bag of clothes that laid in my fingertips.

"Uh, well-" I couldn't even finish my sentence before bursting into tears. I tried holding it together for his sake but it didn't work.

"Fuck— Georgia!" Jon shouts as he hugs me and urges me inside while yelling for help of Georgia.

"Oh my god babe! What's going on?" She runs over, As I notice her growing belly as well.

"We went to Vegas and— Well I'm sure you can imagine that Chris cheated on me" I whimpered, not wanting to admit to them that it had happened.

"Fucking prick, Come inside, let's get you some tea" She soothes me, cursing Chris's name under her breath.

"Can I please stay with you guys for a bit?" I ask out of complete vulnerability.

"As long as you need" They both say while agreeing.

Great, I was right back to where I started.
I never anticipated for this to be where I ended up again. Things go well until they don't, and it seems like a common occurrence worth Chris.