I looked on morosely as the scarlet steam train trundled away, and my heart felt heavier than I ever thought it could.
It had been a shit Christmas.
Albus had barely spoken to me for the full two weeks he was home. He had changed since starting Hogwarts and I felt at loss as to why. Every single time I had tried to bring up how his lessons were or what friends he had made, he would shut me down by storming off to his bedroom.
I mourned the fun loving, sweet, friendly mummy's boy he had once been.
"I'm sure it's just a phase," Hermione said, wrapping her arm around me as the Hogwarts Express disappeared from view.
"It's alright for you," I said, more sharply than I had intended, "at least Rose was her usual, happy self."
"It's Malfoy's boy," Ron sneered, "Albus has changed since becoming matey him."
I stiffened. "Ron, we can't place the blame on Scorpius. Besides, you know his mother's dying."
"Yeah - and that's just further proof of what I've been trying to tell you all these years;" Ron continued, ignoring my furious glare, "The Malfoy name has been nothing but a curse on anyone it touches. I've got to say, Etta, you certainly dodged a bullet there-"
"SHUT UP, RONALD!" I hollered in his face, my tether finally snapping. "JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
There was a collective gasp from the other occupants on the platform and Hermione had let go of me to hurriedly place her hands over Hugo's ears.
"Etta...?" Ron said, his mouth agape at my furious outburst.
"I'm just going to take Hugo to the car," Hermione said briskly, giving Ron a pointed look as she started dragging her child a safe distance away from me.
"Etta? What's going on with you?" Ron said, frowning in concern as he placed his hands comfortingly on my shoulders.
"It's all such a bloody mess, Ron," I sobbed, allowing him to pull me into his embrace as I finally permitted the tears that I had held back for so many years to flow heavily and angrily against his chest.
Ron didn't say anymore, just held me until I was ready to compose myself.
"It's Albus." I eventually mumbled, wiping my tears away with my sleeves. "And... and his father."
Ron's eyes widened. "His father?"
My insistence that Albus's conception had come from a drunken one night stand with a man whose name I did not even know never sat right with them. But Ron and Hermione had learned to drop the subject after being shut down time and time again.
And it had been easy to deny it all these years with Draco out of the picture, having gone into seclusion after the birth of Scorpius. But since he had unceremoniously rocked back into my life, I could no longer hide the truth.
"Draco," I whispered, looking down - too terrified to see the disappointment in my best friend's eyes. "Draco Malfoy is Albus's father."
***
"And are you sure they're just friends?"
"Ronald!" Hermione hissed, smacking his arm.
"What?! It's a valid question!" Ron implored, rubbing furiously where his wife had just hit him. "They don't want to start getting it on only to find out that they're brothers."
We were back at Ron and Hermione's, sipping tea at their kitchen table, having just updated Hermione on my Daddy Draco news.
"He's only eleven years old, Ron!" I snapped, although I didn't add that this thought had occurred to me too.
"And besides," I continued, "Draco isn't keen to let anyone find out either, at least not while Astoria is..." I trailed off guiltily.
"Oh - so you're going to wait until the wife carks it so that Malfoy can start playing daddy with a clear conscience." Ron snapped, not bothering to hide his disgust.
"He's thinking about Scorpius, Ron," I spat hotly. Ugh. This is exactly why I didn't want to tell him.
"Well, I agree it's a tricky situation," Hermione interjected, always the voice of reason.
"Well it wouldn't have been if Malfoy had just learned to keep it in his pants!" Ron spluttered furiously, his face going red with rage, "The git was married!"
I flinched, feeling hot with shame.
"Ron! This is not helping anybody," Hermione implored. "What's done is done and Albus is here and we wouldn't have it any other way. The question is, what do you want to do, Etta?"
I emitted a heavy sigh, looking glumly into the dregs at the bottom of my tea cup, as though I could find the answer there.
"At the end of the day, Draco chose Astoria. And now it's his wish to keep the truth from her for Scorpius's sake." I shrugged, and even though it hurt, I added, "He's just looking out for his family."
I tried to ignore Ron's scoffing and pretended I did not hear him mumble the word 'coward' under his breath.
Hermione looked at me with such doleful eyes that I had to look away; not being able to bear her pity.
"Oh, I wish you could have felt that you could've confided in us all those years ago, Etta," she said sadly.
"Yeah, and I would have bloody killed him." Ron said hotly. "Fucking with my best friend like that."
"RONALD!" Hermione screeched in horror.
"What?! It's true!" Ron seethed, his eyes bulging furiously. His fists were clenched tightly on the table in front of him, his knuckles white. I had never seen him so angry before. "The only reason I'm not going over there right now to tear him a new one is because he's got a dying wife!"
"Ron, please!" I beseeched, wringing my hands through my hair. "This is why I never said anything - I didn't want to break up a family. Draco didn't know I was pregnant but he knew his wife was, and he stayed by her side because he believed it was the right thing to do. And even though it killed me, even though it broke my heart; I stayed away. I stayed away because I knew it would tear Draco in two if he found out." I couldn't stop the quiver in my voice and I felt the tears prickling behind my eyes when I said the next bit. "And I couldn't do that to him because I loved him. I loved him so much that I had to let him go. Again."
Tears spilled from my eyes and Hermione jumped up from the table, conjuring a box of tissues as she did so, enveloping me in a big, comforting hug.
"Oh, Etta," she sighed as I choked big heaving sobs into her bushy mane.
Ron stayed silent, watching me with narrowed eyes whilst I reached for the tissues and dried my tears.
"But now things are a lot more complicated," he said steadily, his tone careful, "what with Albus and Scorpius becoming best friends. Etta, you cannot keep this from Albus anymore. He's got a right to know that Scorpius is his brother."
Hermione exhaled a long-drawn-out breath as I shook my head vigorously from side to side from behind a tissue. "Ronald's right, Etta, it's not just about protecting Draco's interests anymore; it's about what is best for those boys."
I knew they were right. I just didn't want to face it. I didn't want to drag Draco back into my life. I had spent too many years building up a wall around me, and I didn't want to knock it down; I could not risk going through all that pain again. Because that was all I had have ever gotten from him. Pain, betrayal and hurt.
And I refused to let that happen again.
***
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Henrietta Potter And The Slytherin Child - (A 'Henrietta Potter' sequel) || D.M
Fanfiction"Tell me, Potter? Is he mine? Is Albus my son?" Follow the adult lives of Henrietta Potter and Draco Malfoy when their worlds once again collide as long kept secrets are uncovered and heartbreaking truths are revealed. *** Female Harry X Draco Malfo...