Bittersweet

40

"Y/N-ssi, Hoseok-ssi, the director wants to see you."

You could practically feel your blood freeze. You stopped chewing your food, the flavorful kimchi fried rice suddenly turning to ash in your mouth. You swallowed thickly, and slowly turned to Hoseok, who merely looked bewildered. You stood slowly, smoothing your outfit down with clammy hands.

It was happening. You were going to get into trouble for your collab with Hoseok.

Jimin's eyes caught yours, and in an instant, he was at your side, rubbing comforting circles into the small of your back. You had spoken at lengths to Jimin about your worry regarding the collab, afraid that Big Hit wouldn't tolerate it. He had listened to you every time, quietly reassuring you that Big Hit wasn't that kind of company.

He whispered soothing things to you before pulling you up and nudging you out the door. Hoseok's hand replaced Jimin's at the small of your back, but instead of comforting you, he guided you carefully to the elevators.

Within minutes, you were in front of the director's office. Hoseok removed his hand from your back, leaving that portion feeling unnaturally cold and exposed. You shivered slightly before knocking. At the sound of the director's sharp 'Enter!', you opened the door and stepped in, your head lowered. Hoseok followed close behind.

"Have a seat, Hoseok-ssi, Y/N-ssi."

You sat down in front of his massive desk, swallowing nervously. The director cleared his throat, peering at you intently.

"I've just watched the video of your collaboration. While I appreciate the talent, I'm afraid we can't release this. The backlash and hate that will come as a response to this being released will be tremendous. As a company, we're already stepped on for competing with bigger companies while still being a small company. I hope you understand why we can't let you publicize this. If the two of you are in a relationship as well, please hide it until the society becomes more welcoming of both your groups."

You released the breath you hadn't realized you were holding. You nodded at the director while Hoseok murmured his understanding. The director smiled at you.

"That's all I wanted to say, you may resume your schedules now."

-----------------------------

"We should take a hiatus."

Ji Woo gaped at Soo Jin in disbelief.

"What do you mean? We've been working on a comeback, and we've been working really damn hard, damn you!"

Soo Jin sighed.

"I'm saying it not because we need extra time for anything. I'm saying it because BTS is preparing for a very big comeback this time. I think we should let them have the spotlight, and maybe continue again next year. It'll give us time to really polish everything too, so that when we do comeback, it'll be stronger than ever before."

You saw the point in Soo Jin's reasoning, but you had spent many a sleepless night working on the songs for your comeback. It seemed like a waste of time.

All your other members also seemed to think the same as you. They grumbled, clearly disappointed with the decision to take a break. Soo Jin's shoulders sagged.

"Listen, I don't want to do this either. But I was asked to tell you all this. The director wants to pull most of the budget and use it for BTS's comeback. It's not fair, but our company is really relying on them to break it big this time. Not just nationally, internationally. Maybe finally earn some respect despite being a small company."

You'd briefly heard snippets of the various songs BTS was putting together for the comeback, and you remembered being impressed. The boys were keeping their concept, their songs, and even their choreography under tight wraps. Nobody except BTS and their staff had heard a single complete song from their upcoming album. It made you incredibly curious, but you could wait. You wanted your first impression to be their best, not just a bunch of almost-finished songs that were awaiting Yoongi's magic.

You shrugged.

"They are bringing in most of Big Hit's revenue. We're not really a hit. It makes sense that everyone's betting everything on BTS."

Jae Hwa chewed on her lip thoughtfully.

"I get where our company is coming from, but are we in a position to take a hiatus? It's a struggle for small company groups to stay relevant as it is. If we skip a comeback, will we still be able to succeed? Taking a hiatus when nobody really knows us is really risky. We'll be forgotten."

Soo Jin shrugged.

"It's not really my decision. I can take your arguments to the director, but I'm not sure to what extent he'll listen."

Seo Yoon nodded.

"That's understandable. Let us know what he says, when he says it. For now, let's continue with our practices like normal. Once we know the final decision, we can plan out our schedules again if needed."

As everyone dispersed, Ji Woo pulled you by the elbow to the nearest empty room. You looked at her, bewildered, wondering what she needed. Ji Woo looked at you urgently.

"Listen, Jae Hwa-unnie is right. We're really invisible already, we'll vanish completely from the industry if we take a hiatus."

You frowned.

"I'm pretty sure we're not that unknown."

Ji Woo shook her head, pulling out a business card. From JYP. You gaped at the card, taking it from her to check if it was real.

"When I was out buying snacks with a staff member yesterday, a JYP representative came and gave me a card. She insisted that I should try out and that I'll definitely get a spot. It happened with YG too. Listen, if we don't do this comeback, it's over for us. We won't be known. Ever. If that happens, as much as I love this group, I'm gonna leave. I'm gonna leave and audition for JYP or something."

You sighed. Why was everything falling apart again?

-----------------------------

"For YG? And JYP? Really?"

You shushed Jungkook, worried that a staff member might overhear.

"Yeah, she even showed me the cards."

Jungkook shook his head in disbelief.

"I feel bad now. We requested a larger budget, and we still need it, but I didn't think it was gonna affect you guys."

You shrugged.

"As long as you guys do what you set your mind to doing, I don't mind. I just didn't think that my group was so unheard of until Ji Woo showed me exactly how invisible we are. I'm scared we'll end up disbanding. Ji Woo already said she'd leave if we fail our next comeback. I'm pretty sure others are thinking along the same lines too."

Jungkook chewed on his lip.

"I don't blame them though."

You nodded.

"I don't either, but I thought everything was finally coming together. Soo Jin started being a decent person to me, I figured myself out, and I finally had an idea of what I wanted to do, and now.."

Jungkook observed you for a while silently, before speaking again. His voice was quiet.

"Do you want to leave too?"

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Dun dun dun...

Decided to finally stop torturing Tae. We're reaching the end, I was thinking I'd conclude around chapter 50? I'm already working on the next chapter, I've been really getting into the writing zone again.

Anyway, corona really blew up in our faces, and here's a quick reminder to stay home and stay safe. As long as you're making sure to be safe, we'll be okay. Stay strong y'all.

Sending lots of love <3