My Messed Up Life

O-fucking-kay

As I got in my car I texted Sierra, she was the only one not there.

Me: Hey I know you don't want to talk to me right now but you can't push me away, you're like my sister and I love you. More or less

Sierra <3: Hey Jess, I don't mind talking to you, I just needed some time away from all of you but I love you. As a sister only and I know that hurts but that's how it is. And I would've stayed at Jacks but I had to leave I couldn't be around any of those people I consider friends and family

Me: wait, why? What happened?

Sierra <3: when I woke up this morning I was naked. In a bed with three other people. You, Brian and Stephen. And then I tried to find Alex's keys to leave and I saw all my friends sleeping with each other and none of them slept with who they're dating

Me: wait what? You slept with us as well?

Sierra <3: yeah

I then drove to my house thinking about what she's been through.

Sierra's POV

I texted Jess back after I awoke from my nap. Wow she didn't even know I slept with them and it was their fucking faults. They pretty much raped me.

Okay so they didn't rape me because I was willing but I was drunk. That's the same thing right?

I texted Alex.

Me: Hey Alex do you want me to bring you your car?

Alex: yeah

Me: Kk I'll be there soon

I waited a few for my headache to ease off. Then I grabbed his Keys and got in his car and drove to Jacks.

When I got there I was about to knock on the door but I was afraid to.

I finally got myself to knock and Austin answered the door.

"Hey Sierra, how are you?" He awkwardly tried to make conversation.

"I'm a little pissed and annoyed, but I'm great, you?" I replied a bit harshly.

"You know, don't you? About all of us?" He asked as I walked through the door.

"Yeah I do, you fucking slept with Danae. And Jack, you little fucker, slept with Devonya. I hate all four of you" I replied walking over to Alex and handing him his keys.

"Sierra I'm sorry, I love you so much, I really do and I can't believe that happened. I hurt you the most and I'm so sorry. I've hurt you the most and you've known me longer" Austin said.

"Don't fucking talk to me okay? Yes you hurt me the most, you would never message me back and it was as if you were ignoring me, you never told me you liked me until recently. Yes I understand you don't tell people how you really feel because you're scared and you don't do well with emotions but you've helped me more than anyone and it's hard for me to admit that. And you've also hurt me the most so don't talk to me" I got louder and louder. I then took a breathe and finished "okay? Oh fucking Kay".

"I-I'm sorry" he sighed. "I love you more than anything" he muttered.

I couldn't take this. I love him so much and he keeps hurting me but now he's upset and I feel terrible and I just love him so fucking much.

Do it
My conscience told me.

But I don't want to.

Damn it I'm going to do it.

I ran over to him and grabbed his face.

I looked him in the eyes for a second and then I did it.

I kissed him.