My Messed Up Life

Austin! Jack? Alex!?

His eyes went wide but he kissed me back.

God I love the feeling of his lips against mine.

After a few minutes we stopped and everyone's eyes were huge and Jack, Stephen, and Brian looked hurt but Jack looked the most hurt.

I started crying and no one knew why, no one but Austin and Jack.

"Sierra I'm sorry" Austin apologized for no real reason.

"Sierra it's okay, really" Jack stated, trying to make me feel better.

"No Jack, it's not okay. I keep screwing up and I'm losing everyone that loves me and, and I just can't deal with this shit anaymore" I replied.

"I know and I understand, you love him, whatever. I'm sorry that I looked hurt and made you feel bad, it's really not a big deal. it's okay, really" Jack stated.

"I-I. I just fucking can't" I began crying, "Alex can we just fucking leave already?" I managed to say.

"Yeah, sure" he muttered, getting up and grabbing his stuff.

We headed to the car and as we were getting in I saw Jack through the window and he was getting pissed and he started yelling although I couldn't hear what he was saying. He kicked everyone out the house and he began to- to cry?.

Jack Barakat is crying.

I can't see him like this.

Alex was half way out the parking lot and I jumped out the car and ran into Jacks house and ran up to him, hugging him and crying into his shirt.

We stayed like this for about 15 minutes and then we let go. I looked at him and simply said "I love you" before walking out. Once I got out the front door I paused and then ran to the car where Alex was.

After a minute or so Alex asked me the question I wanted to avoid.

"Did you sleep with anyone?"

"Uhh I-I, actually yeah" I finally managed to get out.

"Well who?" He asked again.

"I Umm I-I slept with J-Jess andBrianandStephen" I ran the last part together.

"Wait, you what? You slept with the lesbian who's in love with you, and the two guys that are in love with you and one of those guys use to have a crush on the lesbian?" He started yelling.

"Yes but it wasn't my fucking fault okay, I was drunk, they were drunk and shit happened. and don't pull that shit on me at least I don't have a girlfriend, like someone and didn't even sleep with your her, but her fucking friend" I began yelling.

I felt targeted, I wasn't the only one in the wrong and he was acting as if I was.

"I'm sorry, I know this hurts and is complicated but I'm screwing up too and I just don't want everyone to see my mistakes so I try to hide them" Alex admitted as he pulled up to our house.

"Alex I understand, and I'm the same but instead of emphasizing others mistakes, just quietly hide your own" I calmly stated while staring at the house in front of us then began walking up to the house.

We didn't talk for an hour until he came into my room.

"Sierra I'm sorry I made it like you're the only person in the world who's in a fucked up spot and that you're the only one who makes mistakes because that's not true, we all do and have been in fucked up situations" he replied quietly.

"It's okay Alex, I forgive you, really you're my brother and I'll always forgive you unless you become a huge dick like Samantha" I replied hugging him.

"Thanks, and I will never be a huge dick, I mean I have one but I won't become one" he chuckled a little.

"Oh Alex, I'm proud to call you my brother and I love you" I started to laugh.

"I love you too little sis" he stated.