My Messed Up Life

Swollen Eyes

I sat there quietly crying when I picked my phone up and texted him

Me: hey Austin? Are you up?

Austin 😉: yeah, why?

Me: I need to talk to you

Austin 😉: about?

Me: something, just meet me in front of the buses in 5 minutes so we can walk and I can talk to you

Austin 😉: uh ok?

I finally got myself off the floor and washed my face and opened the door. I saw CC and Chloe just sitting on the couch waiting for me.

I walked over to them and sat on the couch between them and began to cry again. They both reached over and hugged me until I slowly stopped crying.

I got up and told them I had to go and walked out the door until I got in front of all the busses.

A few minutes later Austin walked up.

"Sierra are you okay? You look sick" he asked concerned.

"I'm okay I guess and yeah I am sick" I replied bluntly as we began walking.

"What's wrong?" He looked scared.

"Why do you look scared?" I asked when I already know why.

"J-just tell me what's wrong please" he begged.

"You"

"W-what do you mean?" He asked.

"You-you got me pregnant" I replied and began to cry again.

Fuck I'm emotional.

"That's what I was afraid of" he stated.

"I know it was. But what are we going to do, you're only 16 and I'm only 15?" I question worriedly.

"Well you're about to be 16" he tried to make it better.

"15, 16 same thing, we're both still young and I don't know what to do" I stated.

"I guess we'll figure out how to be good parents" he suggested.

"Um, you think I'm actually keeping this blob?" I asked completely serious.

"Well I was hoping you would, I mean it's my child and I don't want to kill him or her or send them off to live with someone else. I want kids and even though I'm young it's still my child and I want it" he tried to reason.

"But I'm not ready, I can't, I can't even deal with life as it is. I can't even take care of myself and I'm always contemplating suicide. how do you expect me to take care of another human if I can't take care of myself?" I asked.

"I'm here, I'll help you take care of the little human and I'll also help you, and yeah it'll be a lot but Alex and Chloe can help take care of you, you're not alone anymore. We're all here to help" he argued.

I finally stopped crying "Actually you're right, it would be mean and cruel to kill a human who's not even fully alive yet or to just send 'em off to strangers and we may or may not see them. I think I-I will keep it. but Umm Austin how are we going to do this? I don't even know who I'm picking yet, who I love yet" I explained.

"Well hopefully you'll pick me, but if you don't, we can still raise a child together with help from whoever you pick" I said.

"Okay okay, like always I give in to you and I get persuaded by you're magical words, I'm keeping the baby" I decided.

We ended back up at the busses and I went to go find Chloe. I was almost at the BVB bus when I heard Devonya.

"SIERRA!" she screamed and ran up to me.

"DEVONMEYA!" I shout back.

"You're pregnant?" She asked slowly as if in disbelief.

I couldn't help it.

I did it again.

I began to cry.