Outside || Luke Hemmings

Chapter 31

‘Okay, I think that’s about all there is to do here’ Luke said, his hand was wrapped around mine as we mindlessly walked around the little town.
‘Isn’t that what we thought…I don’t know…3 hours ago?’ I laughed.
Luke nodded. ‘It is, but I think we’ve really seen everything now and it’s safe to say that this was the first wrong place to go too’
‘well, we had a very delicious pie, so it wasn’t a complete failure, and I have a phone now’
‘right, okay it was half a failure then’
I nodded and looked at him.
His eyes were hidden behind his sunglasses but he was still squinting his eyes.
He looked right in front of us as we walked over the crowded streets.
‘Are we going to the next place now then?’ I asked.
Luke smiled at me ‘Yes, let’s do that’
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We were back in the car, slowly making our way out of Piha.
Our next stop would be Otorohanga.
All these places had such weird names and it made me wonder what we were going to find every time I heard a new one.
My eyes tiredly closed as I noticed we were back on the highway.
I didn’t sleep a lot last night, all I could think about was the letter of my parents that was in the bag.
I really wanted to read it but I didn’t want to risk waking up Luke.
So I ended up staring at the ceiling just thinking about it.
I remembered it said that I had to burn it, but I could never imagine myself actually doing that.
Why would they even expect me to burn it? What was in it that was so important no one else was allowed to read it?
I sighed and focused on the music on the radio, slowly feeling myself drift away.
----
I open my eyes and immediately sat up straight.
I felt the tears make their way down my cheeks as I looked around.
My breathing heavy and my heartbeat racing.  
We were parked by a gas station and I could see Luke make his way back to the car with some food and drinks in his hands.
I got out of the car, I couldn’t think straight anymore, it was like I was going insane. I just needed to get back.
I had to go home.
Luke looked at me surprised.
‘Good afternoon sleepyhead’ he said, a lazy smile on his face.  
I shook my head and looked around, frantically looking for a way to get home.
‘What’s going on?’ He asked.
I ignored him and pulled my fingers through my hair.
‘Hey,’ Luke said, he dropped the drinks and the food in my seat and looked back at me.
‘What’s going on?’ he repeated.
‘I…’ I started, not real sure how to tell him this.
‘I need to get home’ I mumbled.
‘I need to see my parents, they’re home, they’re not dead. I need to get back’
It was more to myself than to him but he answered anyway.
I kept looking around, trying to avoid eye contact with him and also still looking for something, I just didn’t know what for.
‘Ivy,’ he said. ‘I think you just dreamt that they are home’
He said it very carefully, like I was going to break in a million pieces if he didn’t treat me this way.
He was probably right.
‘No I didn’t, I saw them. They told me that they were fine.’ I looked at him like I was absolutely sure about what I was saying but I felt new, fresh tears burn behind my eyes.
‘Come here, ’ He said.
He grabbed my hand and pulled me to the car, he made me sit down.
He grabbed one of the water bottles and looked at me.
‘Drink up’ He said.
I shook my head as I pushed the bottle away and stood back up.
‘You don’t understand Luke,’ I said, pacing up and down the gas station.
‘My parents are at home, they’re there waiting for me’
Luke shook his head and bit on his lip, unsure of what to say.
I knew he tried his hardest not to hurt me.
‘V, I’m sorry, but it was just a dream’
‘It was not a dream! They’re home Luke!’ I answered, ignoring the fact he just called me "V" instead of "Ivy".
‘No they’re not Ivy! I’m sorry but your parents are dead, they’re not here anymore. You were  just dreaming! I’ll take you back to Auckland if you don’t believe me but they won’t be there. They will never be there again. You’ll only hurt yourself more by going back to that place’
I looked at him in shock, but as soon as he said it, I knew he was right.
I let out a sob and turned my back to Luke and took a few steps away but I was pulled back.
I didn’t open my eyes to see who it was, there was no one else there but Luke.
He wrapped his arms around me and slowly swayed us back and forth.
‘I’m sorry’ He softly mumbled.
I shook my head ‘They’re not coming back’ I mumbled, letting out another sob.
Luke’s grip tightened.
‘I’m so sorry’ He said again.
I didn’t understand why he apologized. He didn’t do anything wrong? Why would he be sorry.
We stood like that for a very long time, I tried to pull myself together multiple times but I just couldn’t get myself to stop crying completely.
After half an hour I felt weak and wanted nothing more than to just curl up in bed with some blankets and just cry myself to sleep.
‘You’ll be alright’ Luke said.
I just shook my head, gripping a handful of the back of his shirt to try and stop myself from crying again.
It felt like my whole world was crumbling down and if I didn’t hold on to him as much as I could I would not be able to get myself out of this.