Deceit • Jikook

Russian Roulette

A week later:

Jimin stared out of the window of the Jeep as it drove dangerously on the roads headed towards his homeland. Usually, he would be bubbling with happiness at the prospect of being back home, but today wasn't one of those days. He absolutely dreaded that he was being taken to his homeland in such a way. He felt like jumping out of the Jeep, but even he knew that his action would grant him severe consequences. He shuddered when he recalled the events of the night Jungkook confronted him with the truth. The way Jungkook's behaviour changed with him turned his world upside-down. Only recently he had settled into accepting the idea of Jikook land being his home, but it was all snatched away within seconds. 

The way Jungkook's eyes stabbed into his soul as he interrogated him the night after he awoke from his punch-induced unconsciousness still gave him nightmares. Almost every night he awoke in panic, only to find himself alone, with no one to comfort or reassure him of his future— if there's one left for him anymore. 

"You run, you die." 

"You rat me out, you die."

"You even think of betraying me again by warning them, everyone you hold dear to you die and lastly I'll leave you alive, crippled and alone to regret everything for the remainder of your pathetic life." 

Jungkook's words kept pounding around his skull repetitively. 

He could still feel the cold metal pressed harshly against his temple as his husband spat the venomous words at him. He could still feel the rope cutting into his skin as he struggled to get out of the restraints his husband put him in. His heart still stuck to his throat as he recalled unwillingly playing an even more fucked up version of Russian roulette. One wrong answer —deemed wrong by Jungkook's judgement— would have him pull the trigger placed at his temple, sometimes at his jaw and sometimes at his chest. 

Fortunately, to Jimin's luck, none of the shots held the bullet. He almost believed Jungkook tricked him into thinking he loaded a single bullet until he actually fired the last shot at one of walls, leaving behind a small hole, which was the exact moment a part of Jimin's soul died. He couldn't believe it anymore. He no longer recognises the person that's seated next to him. He's a total stranger. His warmth, his comforting heart beats, his subtle actions that reflected care disappeared as if they never existed in the first place. Jimin believes he had made them all up in order to adjust to this cold, unbearable reality. 

Only harsh words, glances of disdain, suffocating air and zero hint of smiles greeted Jimin whenever he passed by Jungkook in the halls of the office wing. He no longer shared a room with him. Jungkook had him moved into another room on the same floor but he rarely saw him around. 

"You disgust me so much that I don't even want to breathe the same fucking air as you." 

Jungkook never said it, but Jimin is sure that is what the commander feels. 

Commander. 

That is what he was now. He could no longer see the husband side of him anymore. Granted, he had fooled him into being his husband, but it hurt regardless. The same fact made him realise that he doesn't deserve to breathe the same air as him. The same fact was the reason why he was currently accompanying the Commander to carry out one of his plans. 

Jimin wanted to laugh at himself. He never thought he could be such a cheap person. In one season, aiding someone, and in the other, aiding someone else. His personal beliefs and his responsibilities were at such odds that he was sure he would be killed trying to maintain both. Heck, he would be killed no matter what he chose, he was sure about it.