There's No Way

Roommates

We sat on the floor of Shawn's living room eating takeout sushi and browsing through various TV shows, trying to find one we both wanted to watch. My bags, full of things we had gotten out of my apartment, sat by the door. I had left them there since I wasn't 100% sure where he was expecting me to stay, surely he wouldn't want to give up his own bedroom to me for an extended period of time. I decided to avoid an awkward situation later and just ask him now.

"So...where should I put my stuff?" I asked him.

"I'll help you carry it to my room after dinner," he nonchalantly said. I shook my head and playfully scoffed at him.

"Shawn, I'm not letting you just give up your room for me. I have no idea how long I'll be staying with you, I'll just take the couch." He looked up at me and quickly protested my offer.

"Camila, that's ridiculous. You're barely able to sleep, it'll only be worse on the couch. Just stay in my room, I'll be fine on the couch," he said.

"I just don't want to feel like a burden..." I whispered under my breath. He shook his head briefly before locking his eyes onto mine.

"You're anything but a burden, Camila," he added. We both sat comfortably in the silence for a few moments, I couldn't help but notice his concentrated expression. He was clearly thinking about something but I wasn't sure what. My questions were quickly answered when he spoke up again.

"What if you just move in with me?" he asked. I sat there, quiet and confused, before responding with a question of my own.

"Would you actually want that?" I questioned.

"Of course I would," he chuckled. "I mean I have an extra bedroom with it's own bathroom, it's not finished now because I didn't have a need to finish it, but you could have it! I think it'd be fun to be roommates with you..." he trailed off. I must've still had a look of shock and confusion on my face because he quickly began backtracking. "I-I mean only if you want to, I don't want you to feel obligated, I'm sure you love your apartment..."

"I hate my apartment," I said before he could finish his sentence. He gave me a soft smile as I continued, "...and I think it'd be fun to be roommates with you, too." His soft smile grew wider at my words.

"Well great! We can get you moved in this weekend," he said. We finished eating our takeout sushi as we watched reruns of Sex and the City, which I finally got Shawn to agree on after flashing him my signature puppy-dog eyes and pouty lip.

After cleaning up from our dinner, I walked over and grabbed the bags of my things and began taking them over to the couch, however Shawn quickly stopped me before I could.

"Woah there, Cabello – you move in this weekend, until then you're still staying in my room. I'm not letting you sleep on the couch," I chuckled at how adamant he was about making sure I was taken care of.

"Well, can you at least help me carry my bags to the bedroom then?" I beckoned. He happily took all of the heavy bags from my hands before making his way to the master bedroom. He set them down on the floor by the foot of the bed before looking back up at me.

"I think I'm gonna call it an early night," I explained, "I want to try and be at least a little bit rested for work tomorrow." His eyes locked on mine after hearing my words, clearly worried about how I would do back at the office.

"Are you sure you're ready to go back to work? I don't think anyone would question it if you took another sick day," he said, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder.

"We'll see how I'm feeling in the morning, but for right now I think I'm okay to go," I said. He removed his hand from my shoulder and began wandering over to the door.

"Okay, well, I'll let you try to get some sleep – let me know if you need anything..." I stopped him just before he could shut the door and pulled him into a hug. He squeezed me tight, both of us silently acknowledging that we would be fine with never letting go. After who knows how long, he placed a soft kiss to the top of my head and pulled away – whispering a quiet 'goodnight' before making his way to the couch in the living room.

I didn't understand it; I didn't understand myself. Psychologically I should be at least a little bit scared of him, right? After the hell that Lucas put me through, I should jump in fear at the thought of a man touching me, right? So why did I feel safest in his arms? Why was it that the thing that brought me the most peace was being wrapped up in him? It didn't make sense to me, but I was far too exhausted to try and figure out how my brain worked – so I grabbed my pajamas out of one of my bags and went into the bathroom to get ready for bed.

Crawling into bed felt like heaven, but I wasn't getting my hopes up just yet. I had a sinking feeling that the moment I closed my eyes to sleep every horrific memory of that night would once again begin replaying in my mind. Sure enough, I was correct. By the time it was midnight, I was still awake, tossing and turning, tears falling freely from the images of that night that involuntarily flashed through my tired brain. I contemplated going out and asking if Shawn would be willing to sleep next to me, I mean it's not like we haven't slept in the same bed before. I quickly decided against that, though – opting for snuggling up with one of his old hoodies instead. Luckily, that did the trick. I slept like a baby for the rest of the night.

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A/N: New one shot posted last night! It's called "Buttons". Have your holy water ready. 🥵