There's No Way

All I Ask

[Shawn's POV]

I sat there, frozen, watching her walk away. It took everything in me to not run after her, but I could tell she needed her space right now. I couldn't blame her - I had royally fucked this one up. I didn't intend on hurting her, obviously. I would never do anything to intentionally hurt her, but from her perspective that's exactly what I had done. I wiped the remaining tears from my face and stood up, popping my AirPods in and beginning to run the same path I did every other day.

I tried not to think too much about it, I tried to distract myself. It wasn't working. My mind was overwhelmed with thoughts of her and how I could possibly fix this. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and quickly stopped in my tracks, hoping to see a message from Camila. Much to my disappointment, it was from Carly.

I'm sorry for getting upset with you last night. If you say she's just your roommate, I believe you. I'd really love to see you again tonight if you're free! I miss you x

I took a deep breath before confidently typing my reply, my finger hovering over the send button for a brief moment before finally hitting it. 

Last night was a mistake. And we're not together, but she's definitely not just my roommate...it's complicated, I guess. Either way, I think it's time we just close this chapter for good, Carly. We both know this relationship wasn't good for either of us...sorry.

I saw the "Read at 9:02 AM" pop up beneath the message I had just sent, but she never replied. Honestly, I was kind of relieved that she didn't have anything else to say. Knowing her, she was probably pissed off at the whole situation, but at this point I didn't care. I was more worried about trying to repair whatever was happening between Camila and I. I pressed play on my music once again and continued on my run.

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I stood on the front step of our house for a good 5 minutes before finally getting the courage to go inside. I knew Camila was most likely home at this point, and honestly I was terrified to see her again. All I wanted to do was wrap her up in my arms and tell her everything was going to be okay, and it killed me to know that I couldn't do that right now. She didn't trust me anymore, and I don't blame her.

I opened the front door and stepped into the living room, greeted by complete silence. Well, what I thought was complete silence until I heard the faint piano melody coming from Camila's room. The piano she had at her apartment was in storage since there wasn't room for it in her bedroom here, so she went out and bought a smaller keyboard that she could play instead. My feet wandered down the hallway, following the sounds. I ended up finding myself standing right in front of her door, which was cracked open ever so slightly. I peeked in to see her sitting at her keyboard, her back facing me. Her long, brunette hair cascaded in curls over her shoulder and down her back. I couldn't contain my smile as I watched her fingers delicately dance over the black and white keys.

I couldn't take my eyes off of her. She continued playing, humming along to the melody every now and then. My heart took flight when I heard her begin to sing; I knew she enjoyed singing but I never had the pleasure of hearing it before now. I watched her in admiration as she poured her heart out in song.

I will leave my heart at the door,

I won't say a word - they've all been said before, you know

So why don't we just play pretend, 

Like we're not scared of what is coming next,

Or scared of having nothing left.

It wasn't until she began to sing the chorus that I realized she truly was singing out all of her feelings, and it broke my heart to hear the words coming out of her mouth.

Look, don't get me wrong,

I know there is no tomorrow,

All I ask is if this is my last night with you,

Hold me like I'm more than just a friend,

Give me a memory I can use,

Take me by the hand while we do what lovers do,

It matters how this ends,

Because what if I never love again?

I could feel my eyes begin to well up with tears once more at the words that were echoing through the house. Every part of me wanted to swing the door wide open and pick her up and hug her and kiss her and tell her how I felt - but I didn't. I just continued standing there, listening to her. 

I don't need your honesty, it's already in your eyes

And I'm sure my eyes, they speak for me

No one knows me like you do,

But since you're the only one who matters,

Tell me, who do I run to?

Her voice broke slightly on the last line, her fingers abruptly ceasing their movements. She hung her head as I heard her let out a small sniffle. The broken pieces of my heart continued shattering as I observed the girl in front of me, unable to finish the rest of the song. Before I had the chance to move, she quickly stood up and spun around - noticing me standing in the doorway. We held each other's gaze for a small moment before I realized that I probably seemed like a major creep for spying on her.

"Um, sorry...I didn't mean to-" Before I could even finish my sentence she shook her head and began to walk past me.

"It's fine," she said unconvincingly. 

"You have an incredible voice, Camila. I mean, I knew you liked to sing but I didn't know you could sing like that..." I spoke. She turned to look at me. I tried to read her expression, but couldn't quite figure it out. It looked almost as if she wanted to tell me something, but wasn't sure if she should or not. She let out a deep sigh before responding.

"Thanks," she shyly said. "I've never really sang in front of anyone before so...that means a lot." She looked down at her feet, something I've noticed she tends to do when she's embarrassed. I walked in front of her, gently placing my finger under her chin and lifting her face up to meet mine.

"Well that's a shame, you're incredibly talented. Anyone would be lucky to get to hear your voice," I said in all sincerity. Our eyes remained locked on each other for a moment before she took a step back, turning and walking back towards her room - closing the door completely this time. I grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator and let out a defeated sigh as I plopped my tired body down on the couch.

I had fucked up big time. And the worst part was, I had no idea if it was fixable or not. The only thing I did know is that I'm way too fucking crazy about Camila to not try.

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A/N: Three updates in one day? Who's doing it like me