There's No Way

Hesitate

[Camila's POV]

It had been two weeks since Shawn and I had become 'official'. I never really believed in all of that 'cloud nine' bullshit, but I'd also be lying if I said that I felt like I hadn't been walking on air for these past two weeks. We decided to keep our relationship a secret from our coworkers for the time being, not because we weren't comfortable with our situation but because we wanted to protect it - and also because who knows what kind of inappropriate jokes would be made at our expense.

Shawn wasn't quite as subtle as I was though. I would go about my day acting as if there was nothing out of the normal, as if Shawn was still nothing more than a coworker-turned-best-friend. Shawn, however, liked to be a bit riskier while we were at work - often sneaking quick cheek kisses while pretending to show me something on my computer or holding my hand under the conference room table. No matter how many of his sneaky yet affectionate actions would take place, they still made me blush uncontrollably each time. I loved the way I felt with him but I hated how much control he had over my emotional state.

----

I finally hung up the phone after an excruciatingly long phone call with a disgruntled client, letting out an exhausted sigh as I glanced over to my love's cubicle and noticing that it was empty. I brought my attention back to my computer, shuffling through emails before I heard a knock on my desk. I turned around to see Shawn standing with a large bouquet of giant yellow sunflowers in his hand. I couldn't help the giant, goofy smile that spread across my face.

"You must have a secret admirer," he smirked. He handed the bouquet over to me with a subtle wink.

"I guess so!" I beamed before thanking him quietly in an attempt to not alert any one who may be able to hear. The rest of my day was spent ignoring the comments from coworkers about who the 'special guy' who sent me the sunflowers was. I could always see Shawn smirk to himself from across the room whenever I would try to dodge the question or think of a quick excuse.

Soon enough 5 o'clock rolled around and Shawn and I left to go home in our separate vehicles. Could we ride together? Absolutely. In fact, it would make much more sense – but again, the last thing either of us wanted was for any rumors to be spread around the office (even if they were true).

It had pretty much become routine at this point that the moment we both got in the door of our house we would be connected at the lips for a large majority of the rest of the night. Tonight, however, our make-out session on the couch was quickly interrupted by my stomach growling.

"Stop! It's not funny! I told you I was hungry!" I defended myself as he laughed heartily into the crook of my neck. He looked down at me in amusement before placing a quick kiss to the tip of my nose.

"Come on, go get ready. I want to take you on our first official date." He stood up and held his hand out to me, helping me up off of the couch. I swear, if I had a dollar for every time this man made me blush in a day I wouldn't even need a job. I reached up and placed a soft kiss on his cheek before making my way back to my room to get ready for dinner.

[Shawn's POV]

I felt the temperature of my cheeks rise the moment she pressed her lips against my face. She knew the effect she had on me, too – giving me a quick smirk before turning to go freshen up in her room. Camila and I had yet to go on any type of official 'date', and initially I had intended on planning it out a bit more – but I knew that this spur of the moment date would end up being just as magical. As long as we were together, everything was magical.

There was a new restaurant that had just opened up downtown that we had both been wanting to try, so I knew that would be the perfect location. I saw Camila's laptop sitting on the coffee table so I grabbed it and went online to make our reservations. The second I clicked on the search bar it showed a dropdown of her recent searches – I couldn't help but chuckle at some of her recent questions for the internet. Including, 'Are the Chainsmokers actually chain smokers?' and 'Do cows have best friends?'. I felt my heart drop a little when I noticed her most recent search, though.

'Statute of limitations for rape'

My heart didn't hurt at the idea of her filing a police report, in fact I had kind of hoped she would. I guess what hurt the most was just the reminder of how we ended up in this situation in the first place. Things were going so well between us that sometimes I forgot the hell she had to go through to get here. I heard her door open and quickly swallowed back the tears that had begun forming in my eyes and Googled the restaurant. I noticed her walk out into the living room but kept my eyes glued on the laptop screen, not wanting her to notice my emotional state.

"Good news, I was able to put our names in at that new place downtown." I said, successfully masking the emotion in my voice. I couldn't bear to avoid looking at her any longer. I brought my eyes up to her. Clearly I didn't do a good job of hiding just how blown away by her beauty I was because she quickly chuckled at my reaction.

"Do I look okay?" She asked with a teasing laugh, clearly already knowing my answer. I made a fickle attempt at hiding my embarrassment as I stood up and walked over to her, wrapping my arms around her waist.

"You look beautiful – as always." I tucked her hair behind her ear before cupping her face in my hands and giving her a sweet kiss. "Come on, we gotta go now if want to make our reservation," I said, interlocking her hand with mine and leading her to the door.

----

The drive to the restaurant started out pretty quiet. I think she could tell that I had something on my mind but she opted not to ask about it. Instead, she just drew circles on the back of my hand with her thumb and leaned her head against my right arm as I drove, attempting to comfort me. I turned my head and placed a kiss to her forehead as we sat at a red light, the gesture causing her to look up at me with a smile.

"I heard a song today that reminded me of you," she shyly remarked. My heart nearly soared out of my chest at her words. We had always sent each other songs we liked – and yes, often times it was our way of secretly communicating our feelings to one another. But this was the first time either of us just came right out and admitted it. Camila sat up, connecting her phone to my car's Bluetooth system before pulling the song up and pressing play.

"It's actually from the new Jonas Brothers album, I think you'll like it." She laid her head back down on my arm and closed her eyes as the melody poured out of the speakers.

Kiss the tears right off your face,

Won't get scared – that's the old, old, old me.

I'll be there, time and place –

Lay it on me, all you're hold, hold, holding.

I swallowed hard, trying my hardest to not let the tears fall from my eyes but they began to cloud my vision so I let them start silently falling down my face. I brought our conjoined hands up to my lips and placed a kiss on the back of hers as the chorus began to ring out.

I will take your pain and put it on my heart,

I won't hesitate, just tell me where to start.

I thank the oceans for giving me you,

You saved me once and now I'll save you too.

I won't hesitate for you.

The urge to kiss her and tell her how much I loved her became all too overwhelming. I quickly made the decision to pull the car over. Camila was clearly confused as to why I was doing so at first, but by the time I was passionately pressing my lips against hers I think she knew. Every kiss with her felt magical, but this one sent me to heaven. I don't know how long the kiss lasted, but I do know that by the time we were pulling away I was more than sure that this girl was my soulmate.

"You have me forever," I whispered against her lips.

"And you have me," she replied as the song continued.

Pull me close and I'll hold you tight,

Don't be scared 'cause I'm on your side.

No, there's nothing I wouldn't do for you.

A/N: Two things!

1. I published a new one-shot the other day! It's called Heartstrings and I'm very proud of it. I'm actually working on an epilogue for it since a few of you have requested it. Go check it out!

2. I know I reference a lot of songs in this story. I feel like I'm quoting different lyrics in every chapter. Lol. I promise there's a reason! Music is gonna end up playing a big role in this story. :)