There's No Way

Broken

[Shawn's POV]

The only thing that was able to pull me from my thoughts was my phone buzzing with a text from Camila.

Meet me in the storage room in 10 minutes

I stared at the words in confusion. Any other time, a text like this would make my heart race and my cheeks flush - because any other time a trip to the storage room usually meant there was going to be tongue involved in one way or another. I glanced over to Camila's desk to see her walking away and towards the elevator, her eyes fixated on the floor in front of her. I didn't want to wait, I wanted to run after her right then. However, against my wishes, I waited. I waited the most excruciatingly long 10 minutes of my life. I sat in my desk chair with my eyes glued on the clock. My fingers were nervously tapping on my desk and my leg was bouncing uncontrollably, causing my knee to pop up and hit the bottom of my desk periodically.

Nine minutes had passed and I called it good enough, figuring it would take me at least a minute to make the walk from my desk to the storage room on the second floor. I stepped out of the elevator and cautiously began walking down to the closed door. My mind raced with images of what state Camila would potentially be in when I opened that door. I placed my hand on the door handle, gently turning it and pushing the door open. I opened the door slightly at first, not seeing Camila. I went to open the door the rest of the way but was blocked when it hit something – something that emitted a quiet 'ow' upon the door colliding with them. I stepped in and looked behind the door to see Camila sitting on the floor, her knees pulled up to her chest and her head buried in her arms.

"Oh, sorry...I didn't realize you were back there," I said as I closed the door and crouched down to be next to her.

"It's okay, in hindsight I probably shouldn't have sat behind the door," she said with a teary chuckle. I instinctively reached out my hand to rub her back, but pulled it back before I made contact. She noticed my hand pull away from her and for a brief moment I thought I saw a look of disappointment cover her face.

"Are you okay?" I asked. Kind of a stupid question, I knew that – but I asked anyway. She attempted a verbal response, but her voice was too weak to speak. The tears that had been welling up in her eyes began steadily pouring out as she sobbed and buried her face back into her arms.

My heart was broken. No, it had been broken the night before. Now it was shattered – and then pulverized. Dust. That's all that was left; heart dust.

"God, Camila. I'm so fucking sorry, I don't even know what to say. I didn't..." Before I could finish my frantic apology she looked up at me shaking her head.

"It's not you," she said quietly. I'd be lying if I said her words didn't shock me. I'd also be lying if I said I believed her – of course it was me. It had to be, right?

"Everything about yesterday would've been perfectly fine if it weren't for him," she said bitterly. "It's not fair, it's not fucking fair."

"It's not. It's not fair at all," I agreed. My eyes were welling with tears at the sight of the beautiful girl falling apart in front of me.

"Everything I do, he's there. No matter how hard I try, every single moment of my life - he's there in the back of my mind. That moment just keeps replaying in the back of my mind. It never fucking stops, Shawn. I can't get it to go away, no matter how hard I try he's just always there. He's always fucking there."

I didn't know what to say. I was never one to be found speechless, but right now - in this moment - I was speechless.

"Camila, I'm so sorry," I finally choked out.