There's No Way

The Healing

[Shawn's POV]

"It's negative."

My heart broke as I watched Camila sadly drop yet another negative pregnancy test into the small trash can by the toilet. I held my arms out for a hug and she quickly took me up on my offer, wrapping her small arms tightly around my torso.

"It's only been four months, babe. The doctor said it could be anywhere from four months to ten months before you're fertile enough to conceive," I said in an attempt to comfort my tiny brunette. She looked up at me and sighed, her chocolate brown eyes brimming with tears.

"I know, I just didn't think the negative tests would hurt this much."

"It'll happen, we just need to give it time," I reassured her as I placed a sweet kiss to her forehead and hugged her tighter against me. We stayed just like that for several minutes, both of us being comforted by each other's embrace.

"I think I know something that would make me feel better..." she mumbled against my chest.

"Yeah? What's that?"

"Grilled cheese." I snorted—of course, grilled cheese makes everything better.

"I can make you a grilled cheese, baby," I said before giving her another quick kiss and heading out into the kitchen. Thankfully, the grilled cheese did seem to improve her mood.

"So," she said as she took another bite. "You still haven't told me where we're going on our honeymoon..." She paused as she waited for a response.

"What makes you think I'm telling you? I think it needs to be a surprise." Camila scoffed at my suggestion.

"Fine, but only because I can appreciate the fact that you know I love surprises." I smiled at her as I moved my own grilled cheese from the frying pan to the plate.

"What about you? I feel bad that you've had almost no hand in the wedding planning process..." she said shyly. I shook my head.

"That shit stresses me out too much—I'm sure whatever you've planned is going to be absolutely perfect. All that matters to me is getting to call you my wife by the end of it."

"Hmm..." Camila hummed. "I like the way you say 'wife', I can't wait to hear it more often..." she said as she laid her head down on my shoulder. "Can I have a bite of your grilled cheese?" she asked.

"You just had one! This one's mine!" I scoffed.

"I know but yours looks better!" I playfully rolled my eyes and held the sandwich up to her mouth as she took a bite. "Mmmmm..." she hummed in delight. "My almost-husband makes the best grilled cheese."

Keeping the honeymoon destination a secret from Camila was killing me. When I was trying to figure out where we should go, I had called Sinu. She told me that Camila had filled out this book when she was little about what her fairytale life would be like, and included in that was a honeymoon in Paris. As soon as Sinu had said the word 'Paris' I was already looking up flights and hotels. If Camila's fairytale was a honeymoon in Paris, then that's where we were going to go. Knowing how excited Camila was going to be when she found out only made the secret harder to keep, though.

——

[Camila's POV]

I knew it wasn't actually happening, I knew it was all in my head. Still I found myself unable to move or say anything that could possibly wake myself up from this nightmare. I felt myself desperately trying to scream but nothing was coming out. Instead I just watched as Lucas got closer and closer, the memories of that dreadful night replaying in my mind frame by frame. I tried calling out to Shawn, but nothing was coming out. I stayed trapped in my subconscious as Lucas slammed my head against my desk, positioning himself behind me. Suddenly, I felt hands on me that felt far more familiar and comforting than Lucas' were and realized that Shawn was trying to wake me up.

"Camila, wake up."

My eyes shot open but it was already too late—I was already hyperventilating as the treacherous waves of a panic attack pulled me under. I still couldn't manage to make any words come out of my mouth, but I squeezed Shawn's hand as tightly as I could, hoping that it conveyed my gratitude for waking me up before the nightmare got worse. He wrapped me up in his arms and lifted me up off of the couch I had taken an accidental nap on, carrying me into our bedroom. He pulled the covers back and placed me down on my side as he crawled into his side and covered us both back up with the blankets. He pulled me close to him, wrapping me in his arms as he rubbed circles on my back in an attempt to calm me down.

"You're okay, you're safe..." he whispered repeatedly in my ear. It took a while, but eventually I was able to calm down, tears still steadily streaming down my cheeks.

"I thought I had gotten rid of them," I sadly murmured against his chest, referring to the ultra realistic nightmare I had just had. He let out a heavy sigh.

"You might not ever be able to fully get rid of them, baby." His fingers played with the messy strands of my hair. "But, you went from getting them almost every day to only one in the span of several months—and that's a huge improvement. You and Penelope have been working hard to heal, and even in moments like this it's evident that it's working. I'm proud of you, Camila," he said as he leaned in and kissed my nose.

"You deserve some of the credit, too..." I said shyly. He gave me a perplexed look. "For the healing...it wasn't just me and Penelope. You healed me, too." He reached over and grabbed my hand, intertwining his fingers with mine.

"Penelope and I helped, but you healed yourself."

——

[Shawn's POV]

The week before our wedding went by in a fuzzy blur. It felt like we blinked and suddenly it was April 16th, the day before our wedding. Our families had flown in and were getting settled into their hotels. Our parents were insistent that we keep the tradition of not seeing each other until the ceremony, so after our family dinner I packed up my things I'd need to get ready the next day and headed to my own suite at the hotel, letting Camila have the house to herself to get ready. After checking into the suite, I sat down at the desk and pulled out my notebook. Camila and I had decided to write our own vows, and I had yet to do so. It seemed like a daunting and impossible task to try and fit all of the love I have for her into a quick speech—but the second that I set my pen to the paper, the words began to flow out of me. After finishing my vows, I got ready for bed and sent Camila a quick text before going to sleep for the last time as an unmarried man.

Goodnight, beautiful. I can't wait to marry you tomorrow, and I can't wait to be married to you for the rest of our lives. Thank you for loving me and thank you for allowing me to love you. It's you and me forever, cutie. ♥️