There's No Way

Decisions

[Camila's POV]

I could barely sleep. The excitement the brewed within me about Shawn's potential promotion and every part of me wished I could just reach over, shake him awake, and tell him the good news. I restrained though – his sleeping figure looked far too peaceful to disturb. I eventually found a position comfortable enough to overcome the excitement and drifted off to sleep.

I woke up to Shawn's hands gently caressing my upper arms as he hovered over me, his face twisted with worry.

"Are you okay?" he asked, his voice laced with genuine concern. I could feel the tears running down my cheeks and the sweat trapping my hair against my forehead. My breathing was heavy and erratic.

"It...it was just another nightmare. I'm fine now." If I'm being completely honest, I'm not sure who I was trying to convince more – me or him. Either way, neither of us fully believed me.

"Another nightmare...about him?" he asked. I swallowed hard before nodding. He wrapped his arms around me and brought me up onto his lap, like he had done so many times before when I needed comforted. He peppered my face and head with soft kisses before stopping abruptly, his demeanor becoming noticeably uneasy.

"Um, y-you don't think it has anything to do with...last night...do you?" he asked anxiously. It made me sad that he thought our own intimacy would trigger these nightmares for me, but I knew for a fact that it wasn't the case. I shook my head.

"It has nothing to do with you...or us, they just happen sometimes. There's not really any specific thing that triggers them," I answered.

"You'd tell me if there was though, right? If there was a way I could help make them stop, you would tell me?" he asked. I nodded in confirmation.

"Of course I would," I whispered as I leaned my forehead against his. He continued to hold me like that, his hand gently running up and down my back – lulling me to sleep. I woke up again a couple hours later, this time to the sound of my alarm clock – which in all honesty, wasn't much better than the way I had woken up earlier.

----

The anticipation was killing me. I kept glancing over to our boss' office, hoping to see Shawn in one of the chairs in front of his desk – but each time the chairs were empty and Shawn was still sat in his cubicle. I looked at the clock and let out a deep sigh. 3:40. Less than two hours left of the day, if he was going to do this today he'd better do it soon. Oh god. What if he changed his mind? What if I said something that screwed everything up for him? Just then, an intimidating voice brought me out of my thoughts, the same voice that had been calling me into his office yesterday was doing it once more – only this time, it was Shawn's name being echoed through the office. I let out a sigh of relief knowing that I hadn't completely fumbled this opportunity for him.

I glanced over toward the office multiple times while they were meeting, but was unable to read any facial expressions, let alone read any lips to see what was being said. Before I knew it the rest of the office was packing up and getting ready to leave. One of our coworkers, Suzanne, lived just down the block from Shawn and I, so I asked her if she could take me home since Shawn was still in his meeting and he was my ride. She agreed, so I packed my things and left with her. I sent Shawn a quick text on the way home letting him know that Suzanne had taken me home.

I got home and waited anxiously on the couch for his return as I watched some old episodes of Friends. I felt my phone buzz in my pocket and I hurriedly took it out. Sure enough, it was a text from Shawn.

Sorry that took so long. Picking up dinner and then I'll be home.

I let out an impatient sigh as I twiddled my thumbs and waited for him. My stomach let out a loud growl, indicating that it was probably a good idea for him to pick up dinner. Soon enough the front door clicked open and Shawn walked through with the food. I sat up and anxiously awaited him to tell me his big news, but he didn't seem as excited as I had hoped. He seemed more...conflicted.

"Hi," I said, almost cautiously.

"Hey...sorry you had to wait. You're probably starving." As if on cue, my stomach growled again causing us both to laugh.

"Must've been a pretty intense meeting," I said casually, hoping that it would open the door for him to tell me all about it.

"Uh, yeah. It was...interesting," he said as he took the takeout containers of food out of the bags. Silence lingered in the air for longer than either of us felt comfortable with. "They offered me the Vice President position." He said it so quietly that part of me thought it might just be my imagination, but he anxious glance over to see my reaction told me that it was in fact, very real. I immediately jumped up and wrapped my arms around his neck.

"Baby! That's so incredible! I'm so proud of you!" I pulled my face back to excitedly kiss him, but didn't. His face didn't look excited – it looked scared. He carefully set me back down on the ground before guiding me over to sit next to him on the couch.

"Camila, if I take this job..." he looked at me and let out another defeated sigh. "Camila they know about us." My eyes widened. Had I told them accidentally? Had I said too much when I was gushing about how great of a guy Shawn is yesterday? I shook my head in disbelief.

"H-how do they know?" I asked nervously.

"Apparently there are security cameras like...everywhere. Our kisses might've been sneaky but not sneaky enough. They've known about us for a while but since we were equals in the workplace they just let it slide, but..." His face fell down to his lap, unable to look me in the eyes. "Camila if I accept this position, you would lose your job."

That detail had not been mentioned to me in our meeting yesterday.

"Shawn, Vice President..." I put my finger under his chin and lifted his face to look at me before continuing. "Vice President is a big deal, like...a huge deal. I can find another job, and you'll still have me! I just...won't be there during the day anymore."

"But you're my favorite part about that job," he said as he shook his head. A single tear streamed down his cheek as he said it, nearly shattering my heart into a million pieces.

"Shawn, baby, what do you want? Be honest." His eyes searched mine for a moment before responding.

"I want...I want to look up from my desk and see you there across the room smiling at me. I want you to ask me to look at something on your computer even though we both know it's just an excuse for you to kiss me. I want something beautiful to look at during long, monotonous meetings that are too boring to bare. I want to watch your cheeks turn unbearably pink after I send you a dirty text in the middle of a meeting. I love my job, I love my job so much – but I don't love my job because of my title or position, I love it because you're there with me."

At some point during his speech he had brought his hands up to cup my face. Not wanting to waste any more time, I leaned in and closed the space between us. The kiss was brief, but it meant everything to both of us.

"So, we wouldn't have to hide anymore? People could know about us?" I asked. He nodded.

"Their exact words were 'we appreciate your efforts but you're not fooling anybody'," he laughed.

"You're absolutely sure about this?" I asked, still not fully convinced that he wasn't just doing this to make me happy.

"Positive," he whispered before connecting our lips again. Suddenly I remembered one very important detail that I had previously glossed over and pulled away from this kiss in a panic.

"Shawn...um, th-there's no security cameras in the storage closet, right?" I asked, fear evident in my voice. Shawn laughed again.

"I'm pretty sure if there were cameras in the storage closet we would've both been fired a while ago."